Hey, sorry I haven't written anything in the past week or two. There has been a lot going on but nothing I could think specifically to write about.
Soo. I haven't thought about it much, but I'm a year older now. I've been so busy I didn't think about my birthday a whole lot until the day of.
A whole lot of people have been here for the 50th jubilee. It's the 50th anniversary or YWAM and people are coming from all over the world to celebrate. So for weeks we've been working to prepare, doing weeding and building and such. But on the 29th it started, and people started flooding in. It's a mass of joyful, colorful, multi-cultured business and celebration. With that there's lots of work to do during this week to keep everything from turning into complete chaos. So the morning of the first day we all got assigned work duties. A couple people got garbage/recycling (I prayed the whole time they wouldn't call on me, and thank goodness I wasn't called!) and a whole lot of people got night security, and the remaining ten or so of us got Friday night cleanup. Everybody else on Friday night cleanup was super happy because we only work on one day, and only four hours. But I was disappointed because I really wanted to be on security and stay up hanging out with people. So I just randomly caught up with a few of the South Africa girls and I ended up sleeping with their team. We watched despicable me and midnight passed, and I just turned to my friend Ashley and said "Hey, I'm nineteen. Yay!" And that was the technical beginning of November 30th.
The next day I woke up and all my roommates wished me happy birthday and I went pleasantly about my morning. It was super weird, I kept thinking "It would be really cool if somebody gave me a little flower for my birthday." But I wasn't expecting anything of course. But I'm just minding my own bisiness when BAM, one of my China team buddies gives me a little plumeria flower. It was pretty cool. God always likes to plan neat things like that. ^_^
As afternoon passed I wanted to maybe do something fun, not anything big but maybe tag along somewhere and just hang out with people, but everybody seemed too busy. It seemed like everybody was going somewhere, like they were planning to do something, and I kept asking "Where's everybody going? Can I come?" and they either ignored me or changed the subject. So I thought "Gosh, I must be really annoying, this sucks. Nobody wants me to tag along anywhere. They won't even tell me where they're going!" It was awful!
So I just sat around feeling kinda depressed and lonely and played my ukulele for awhile. And for some reason my roommate Elise REALLY wanted to take me to the beach with some of our other roommates so they could pray for me. So I'm like, what the heck, okay. So we walk down there, and she seems really happy, and keeps looking at me. When I got down to the beach there was a table with some balloons set up, and I wondered who they were for. (Yes, I am really THAT easy to fool.) Anyway I walk closer and all the sudden about fifteen or so friends randomly jump out from behind a wall and yell SURPRISE! And I was soooo stunned that I just could barely talk for at least a minute! I felt soooo loved and blessed, and it was just wonderful! And then I understood why nobody would tell me what was going on earlier, and I just felt so silly!
They made me a birthday bowl of mud-pudding stuff. Chocolate pudding with cookie crumbs and gummy worms, which is totally me since I like worms. And they got me these cute little presents too! And we all played games and just hung out for a bit and it was just wonderful. I want to give a special thank you to Elise and Esther and Laura who helped plan the whole thing, but also just everybody that came too. You guys absolutely made my day and blessed me soooo much!
THe rest of the day was splendid probably not becuase anything else comparably awesome happened but because I was just so happy. Somebody even bought me a frappe, and I got to hang out with my China team nd stayed up super late with them, and all in all being nineteen has been pretty fun so far.
Friday, December 3, 2010
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Wake up.
So I'm just gonna write a whole bunch of things I've been learning in the past few weeks that has been waking me up as well as lots of the people around me. This post is gonna be frank and it might piss you off. :-)
It's heavy on my heart that my generation (who knows, maybe older and younger people as well) have been living a lifestyle of this thing that can be summed up with something like "how close can I get to the line before I cross it?" You know what makes me mad!? Is that I haven't been an exception!
You know what people our age are spending our time on? Questions like "how close can I get to having sex without having sex?" or "How not-hard do I have to work on this without being lazy?" or "How is smoking weed wrong? It's not as bad for you as cigarettes and I bet they're gonna legalize it soon anyways."
We need to be leading a new revolution. A revolution of people that are standing up for what is right and true and lovely and glorious! Do you know that there are places out there in the world where such things have happened? Do you know that there are communities in parts of the world where ever since the majority of people there have fallen deeply in love with God and have set down they're lifestyle of "just good enough" and replaced it with a lifestyle of "All for God's best"? This is what happens: Jails are closed down because there's no crime. Hospitals get emptied because people are healed. Families are restored and people live a lifestyle of joy and live in harmony with eachother! People this is not some fantasy! This is reality and that same revival could be happening in Snohomish, in Everett, Seattle, wherever, if we as people who know the truth would wake up.
We need to stop being okay with all this pain and crap going on around us because Jesus is gonna come back someday and all this will be gone anyways. NO! We need to be spending our lives getting ready, and trying to share as much of God's light as we can. Jesus told us to pray "Let your kingdom come, let your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven." What is the kingdom? It's everything wonderful and glorious and lovely. It's where the presence of God dwells and the feeling of everything pure and good are obvious. We are called to bring heaven to earth, not just waiting for us to die and get out of this place called earth so we can go to heaven. Did you hear that? Let's read that part of The Lord's Prayer again. "Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth, AS IT IS IN HEAVEN!
I wish I had know this before. Because then maybe instead of living a life of "how little can I do around the house, or in school, to get my parents off my back" I could've been living a life of "What can I be doing to make everything around me better reflect the glory of heaven?"
While I'm at it I'm gonna run through some things that a bunch of people my age, Christians included, are stuck on. I'm not trying to judge you by these, but it's my hope that it might convict you as much as it has convicted people in my class so that you might be inspired to strive for the lifestyle our future needs US to start.
The first thing I'm gonna list is sex. Uncomfortable yet? ;-)
People, we need to STOP asking the all famous questions among youth groups: "How far is too far?"
You older adults might not be aware of this, but people my age are trying to get as close to having sex as they can while not quite going all the way. A lot of couples, even couples who are following Jesus, without going into detail, are doing pretty much "everything but" with each other, thinking it's perfectly okay, or at least somewhat okay, as long as they don't actually have the kind of sex that can make babies.
Imagine how much heartache, emotional pain, and sexual-transmitted diseases would be saved if only we were asking "How can me and my boyfriend/girlfriend be a living example of purity through our actions, both private and public?" instead of "How far is too far?"
You know what? Even if you aren't in a relationship and don't have anybody who you'd fool around with you still might be living in sexual sin. Matthew 5:28 says "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."
Can I just say right now that porn sickens me? Now if you do or have struggled with porn, it doesn't mean YOU sicken me. But the act of looking at porn sickens me. Don't you know that when you look at those naked girls that person is someone that God made and that he loves dearly? That she was made for so much more? Do you really want to support treating women like objects? Because when you look at porn, I bet you aren't thinking about that girl's heart. You're looking at certain body parts like toys build for your play. It's disrespectful. Don't you know that when you looked at that stuff it hurts your families, your wives, your girlfriends? Now lots of women feel like we need to look or act like porn stars to get your attention. (I'm not talking about me personally, but a lot of females out there.) It's wrong, it's gross, if you do it, you need to stop. If you can't, get a filter. Don't put it off. If you have time to gaze at body parts for hours, surely you have a few minutes to install something that's widely available and free.
And guys even if you don't look at porn I've been around a lot of my guyfriends and some girl in skimpy clothing will walk by and I can literally see you practically drool. It's gross. When you see a girl and she's wearing not much, look away. She's not a piece of meat, even if she chooses to dress like one.
...Just to clarify, I don't want to make it seem like I'm only targeting the guys. I'm not trying to. Girl's struggle with it too, but I believe in most cases it isn't as visual. Most girls just don't really struggle with porn. Okay, now I'm done with my stop the sex-stuff rant.
I was going to write about a lot of other stuff but I'm tired and I need a mind break before I write more. I've already written two long posts today. But I still have so much more stuff I want to say here. SO much more that I want people to read and take to heart. Because I wish I had known all this stuff earlier. So I'll write more soon, so keep checking back with me.
I love you all. <3
It's heavy on my heart that my generation (who knows, maybe older and younger people as well) have been living a lifestyle of this thing that can be summed up with something like "how close can I get to the line before I cross it?" You know what makes me mad!? Is that I haven't been an exception!
You know what people our age are spending our time on? Questions like "how close can I get to having sex without having sex?" or "How not-hard do I have to work on this without being lazy?" or "How is smoking weed wrong? It's not as bad for you as cigarettes and I bet they're gonna legalize it soon anyways."
We need to be leading a new revolution. A revolution of people that are standing up for what is right and true and lovely and glorious! Do you know that there are places out there in the world where such things have happened? Do you know that there are communities in parts of the world where ever since the majority of people there have fallen deeply in love with God and have set down they're lifestyle of "just good enough" and replaced it with a lifestyle of "All for God's best"? This is what happens: Jails are closed down because there's no crime. Hospitals get emptied because people are healed. Families are restored and people live a lifestyle of joy and live in harmony with eachother! People this is not some fantasy! This is reality and that same revival could be happening in Snohomish, in Everett, Seattle, wherever, if we as people who know the truth would wake up.
We need to stop being okay with all this pain and crap going on around us because Jesus is gonna come back someday and all this will be gone anyways. NO! We need to be spending our lives getting ready, and trying to share as much of God's light as we can. Jesus told us to pray "Let your kingdom come, let your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven." What is the kingdom? It's everything wonderful and glorious and lovely. It's where the presence of God dwells and the feeling of everything pure and good are obvious. We are called to bring heaven to earth, not just waiting for us to die and get out of this place called earth so we can go to heaven. Did you hear that? Let's read that part of The Lord's Prayer again. "Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth, AS IT IS IN HEAVEN!
I wish I had know this before. Because then maybe instead of living a life of "how little can I do around the house, or in school, to get my parents off my back" I could've been living a life of "What can I be doing to make everything around me better reflect the glory of heaven?"
________________________________________________________________
While I'm at it I'm gonna run through some things that a bunch of people my age, Christians included, are stuck on. I'm not trying to judge you by these, but it's my hope that it might convict you as much as it has convicted people in my class so that you might be inspired to strive for the lifestyle our future needs US to start.
The first thing I'm gonna list is sex. Uncomfortable yet? ;-)
People, we need to STOP asking the all famous questions among youth groups: "How far is too far?"
You older adults might not be aware of this, but people my age are trying to get as close to having sex as they can while not quite going all the way. A lot of couples, even couples who are following Jesus, without going into detail, are doing pretty much "everything but" with each other, thinking it's perfectly okay, or at least somewhat okay, as long as they don't actually have the kind of sex that can make babies.
Imagine how much heartache, emotional pain, and sexual-transmitted diseases would be saved if only we were asking "How can me and my boyfriend/girlfriend be a living example of purity through our actions, both private and public?" instead of "How far is too far?"
You know what? Even if you aren't in a relationship and don't have anybody who you'd fool around with you still might be living in sexual sin. Matthew 5:28 says "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."
Can I just say right now that porn sickens me? Now if you do or have struggled with porn, it doesn't mean YOU sicken me. But the act of looking at porn sickens me. Don't you know that when you look at those naked girls that person is someone that God made and that he loves dearly? That she was made for so much more? Do you really want to support treating women like objects? Because when you look at porn, I bet you aren't thinking about that girl's heart. You're looking at certain body parts like toys build for your play. It's disrespectful. Don't you know that when you looked at that stuff it hurts your families, your wives, your girlfriends? Now lots of women feel like we need to look or act like porn stars to get your attention. (I'm not talking about me personally, but a lot of females out there.) It's wrong, it's gross, if you do it, you need to stop. If you can't, get a filter. Don't put it off. If you have time to gaze at body parts for hours, surely you have a few minutes to install something that's widely available and free.
And guys even if you don't look at porn I've been around a lot of my guyfriends and some girl in skimpy clothing will walk by and I can literally see you practically drool. It's gross. When you see a girl and she's wearing not much, look away. She's not a piece of meat, even if she chooses to dress like one.
...Just to clarify, I don't want to make it seem like I'm only targeting the guys. I'm not trying to. Girl's struggle with it too, but I believe in most cases it isn't as visual. Most girls just don't really struggle with porn. Okay, now I'm done with my stop the sex-stuff rant.
I was going to write about a lot of other stuff but I'm tired and I need a mind break before I write more. I've already written two long posts today. But I still have so much more stuff I want to say here. SO much more that I want people to read and take to heart. Because I wish I had known all this stuff earlier. So I'll write more soon, so keep checking back with me.
I love you all. <3
Africa.
So I'm thinking about going to Africa.
After China.
In case you don't know, but you've probably heard, on December 28th I'll be heading off to China for three months. But after that about fifteen of us students are needed to head off to Cape Town in South Africa for a year.
I want to go.
But I'm not sure if that's where God wants me. I have recently started becoming a person who really, really, REALLY wants to do exactly as God wants me to do. I've realized that he's just so darn smarter and wiser then me, and he's more dedicated to making sure my life goes great then I could ever be. So if he for some reason wants me to stay home, or go somewhere else, I want to listen. But me being the impatient person I am want to know right now what his plans are for me. I don't want to have to wait for a sure answer that might not come for months more. I still have plenty of time to decide! But see I want to know my future now! Which is totally silly! Because he knows that I'm not ready to know all that yet.
Let's just think back about eight years. If I had known then that woah, I'm moving, and I'll lose some of my then-best-friends through it, it would've broke me. But I can look back now and see how it all worked out for the best. Five years ago if God would've told me that I was going to Mexico, I would've freaked out. If a year ago God would've told me that the relationship I was in wouldn't last forever, and that a little after I was gonna be sent away for six months and go to potentially dangerous places, I would've stomped my pissy little foot and complained. See we just aren't ready for what God has in store for us. So maybe I should just be crying "Oh my gosh God! Thank you soooo much for not telling me what's gonna happen with my future!"
Needless to say I'm not to that point yet. ;-)
But back to Africa. I don't need to decide yet. I don't need to know for sure yet. What I'm evaluating now is my motivation. I want to go and do God's work but I also have other motivations for going that might not be bad in themselves but should NOT be the reason for which I take off to the other side of the world for a year.
Things like... I know some people here who are also thinking about going that I love the idea of spending a year with. I could see the group of us being super close and having so many joyous times together. There's all sorts of amazing animals around there, like zebras and buffalo nearby, and even monkeys all around town. And the children! I love kids! I would love being around them, talking to them, loving on them! And just being in Africa would be such an adventure in itself. I love adventure! I love travel! And I've wanted to go to Africa ever since I was little.
Now these are all good reasons to go somewhere. They aren't wrong in and of themselves. But they shouldn't be a factor in whether or not I go or not. My reason should be God. Making his kingdom come to the darkest places. Making his story of love known to those who haven't heard. Making sure there isn't any group of people on this earth who don't get a chance to hear how much God LOVES them!!
And I have to admit to that there might be motivations for going that I need to wipe out of my mind right now and forever. Crap that has been forming in my mind like gooey mold ever since I thought about being a missionary as a kid. Stuff like "I'll look like such a good Christian and people will think I'm super Godly." or "People will think I'm really brave for going to dangerous places." or "If I'm in some crazy country surrounded by people who are madly in love with Jesus, like it was in Mexico, maybe I won't fall back into depression and I can keep riding this 'Jesus high' that I'll lose if I just go home."
My dear friends back home who pray, please pray that any time any of these thoughts start to cross my mind that I'll recognize them immediately and get them out.
But more on the possibility of going. I want to go, and a couple times I think I've felt God telling me I should go. But every time I can't figure out if it's my wishful imagination or God's soft voice. See when God wanted me to go to Mexico, I knew it was him, because I SURELY did not want to go to Mexico. If I feel a call to somewhere I've specifically asked God NOT to send me to I know it's him! But if it's something I really want to do, it's harder to know whether it's my will only or a desire shared by both me and God.
I love you and miss you. Please pray for wisdom.
After China.
In case you don't know, but you've probably heard, on December 28th I'll be heading off to China for three months. But after that about fifteen of us students are needed to head off to Cape Town in South Africa for a year.
I want to go.
But I'm not sure if that's where God wants me. I have recently started becoming a person who really, really, REALLY wants to do exactly as God wants me to do. I've realized that he's just so darn smarter and wiser then me, and he's more dedicated to making sure my life goes great then I could ever be. So if he for some reason wants me to stay home, or go somewhere else, I want to listen. But me being the impatient person I am want to know right now what his plans are for me. I don't want to have to wait for a sure answer that might not come for months more. I still have plenty of time to decide! But see I want to know my future now! Which is totally silly! Because he knows that I'm not ready to know all that yet.
Let's just think back about eight years. If I had known then that woah, I'm moving, and I'll lose some of my then-best-friends through it, it would've broke me. But I can look back now and see how it all worked out for the best. Five years ago if God would've told me that I was going to Mexico, I would've freaked out. If a year ago God would've told me that the relationship I was in wouldn't last forever, and that a little after I was gonna be sent away for six months and go to potentially dangerous places, I would've stomped my pissy little foot and complained. See we just aren't ready for what God has in store for us. So maybe I should just be crying "Oh my gosh God! Thank you soooo much for not telling me what's gonna happen with my future!"
Needless to say I'm not to that point yet. ;-)
But back to Africa. I don't need to decide yet. I don't need to know for sure yet. What I'm evaluating now is my motivation. I want to go and do God's work but I also have other motivations for going that might not be bad in themselves but should NOT be the reason for which I take off to the other side of the world for a year.
Things like... I know some people here who are also thinking about going that I love the idea of spending a year with. I could see the group of us being super close and having so many joyous times together. There's all sorts of amazing animals around there, like zebras and buffalo nearby, and even monkeys all around town. And the children! I love kids! I would love being around them, talking to them, loving on them! And just being in Africa would be such an adventure in itself. I love adventure! I love travel! And I've wanted to go to Africa ever since I was little.
Now these are all good reasons to go somewhere. They aren't wrong in and of themselves. But they shouldn't be a factor in whether or not I go or not. My reason should be God. Making his kingdom come to the darkest places. Making his story of love known to those who haven't heard. Making sure there isn't any group of people on this earth who don't get a chance to hear how much God LOVES them!!
And I have to admit to that there might be motivations for going that I need to wipe out of my mind right now and forever. Crap that has been forming in my mind like gooey mold ever since I thought about being a missionary as a kid. Stuff like "I'll look like such a good Christian and people will think I'm super Godly." or "People will think I'm really brave for going to dangerous places." or "If I'm in some crazy country surrounded by people who are madly in love with Jesus, like it was in Mexico, maybe I won't fall back into depression and I can keep riding this 'Jesus high' that I'll lose if I just go home."
My dear friends back home who pray, please pray that any time any of these thoughts start to cross my mind that I'll recognize them immediately and get them out.
But more on the possibility of going. I want to go, and a couple times I think I've felt God telling me I should go. But every time I can't figure out if it's my wishful imagination or God's soft voice. See when God wanted me to go to Mexico, I knew it was him, because I SURELY did not want to go to Mexico. If I feel a call to somewhere I've specifically asked God NOT to send me to I know it's him! But if it's something I really want to do, it's harder to know whether it's my will only or a desire shared by both me and God.
I love you and miss you. Please pray for wisdom.
Monday, November 15, 2010
I Love
So about two months ago I wrote a blog about things I hate. (Click here if you haven't read it http://amandastangland.blogspot.com/2010/09/i-hate.html). At the end of the blog I said I would write a blog about things I love, so here it goes. I love a lot of things, so this might be a long post. These are listed in no particular order, and I'll surely leave things out by accident. But here it goes...
My Savior. Wheat thins with good cheese. Dill pickles My puppies. Climbing trees, even when you're not a kid anymore. The color green. The smell of rain on concrete. Music. Sleeping in. Warm blankets. My sister. Hippie dresses and flowy skirts. The feeling of sun on bare shoulders. Playing with people's hair. Cori and Stephanie. Daisies. Being a girl. Being creative. Worshiping with good friends. Hot chocolate before I sleep. Coffee, not just the taste but the smells. Freckles. Hands. Writings songs. Hugs. Knowing a good secret. Old couples in love. My kitty girl. Hearing somebody sing when they think nobody is around to listen. Good, deep conversations. Night-time. Sunrises. Photography. My family. Un-related brothers. A nice cold glass of milk. Good concerts. Feeling energy. People's faces. Knowing that you're truly and fully loved. Car rides with the windows down. Watercolor paints. Tall grass. Dragonflies. True happy endings. Baths. Resting your head on someone's shoulder. Singing harmony. Comfy couches. My DTS. Seattle. Dew. Big waves. Animals. Innertubing in the lake. Gentle people. Inside jokes. Vanilla flavored everything. Happy memories. Swing dancing. Starbucks, especially when other people pay, lol. Making things. Airports and plane rides. Wind. Mist. Babysitting. Cartwheels. Flowers. Boulders. Beauty. My little church back home - oh my gosh, I miss you guys. My youth group. Anklets. Fearlessness. Crooked teeth. Sprinting so fast you feel like you're flying. Skipping. Bug comfy chairs that swallow you up. Chocolate truffles. Vanilla Lattes. Secretly observing people's unique habits. Cinnamon. Love. Hugs. That waddle toddlers do when they're learning to walk. Kittens. Going super super fast. Being enveloped in water. Cliffs. Sunny meadows. Playing with people's hair. Dill pickles. The light perfumey smell of Oprah magazines. Mack massages. Dimples. Playing piano so fast your fingers feel like they're flying. Endorphins. Laughter. Really getting to know people. Dew-covered spiderwebs. Morning frost. YOU.
My Savior. Wheat thins with good cheese. Dill pickles My puppies. Climbing trees, even when you're not a kid anymore. The color green. The smell of rain on concrete. Music. Sleeping in. Warm blankets. My sister. Hippie dresses and flowy skirts. The feeling of sun on bare shoulders. Playing with people's hair. Cori and Stephanie. Daisies. Being a girl. Being creative. Worshiping with good friends. Hot chocolate before I sleep. Coffee, not just the taste but the smells. Freckles. Hands. Writings songs. Hugs. Knowing a good secret. Old couples in love. My kitty girl. Hearing somebody sing when they think nobody is around to listen. Good, deep conversations. Night-time. Sunrises. Photography. My family. Un-related brothers. A nice cold glass of milk. Good concerts. Feeling energy. People's faces. Knowing that you're truly and fully loved. Car rides with the windows down. Watercolor paints. Tall grass. Dragonflies. True happy endings. Baths. Resting your head on someone's shoulder. Singing harmony. Comfy couches. My DTS. Seattle. Dew. Big waves. Animals. Innertubing in the lake. Gentle people. Inside jokes. Vanilla flavored everything. Happy memories. Swing dancing. Starbucks, especially when other people pay, lol. Making things. Airports and plane rides. Wind. Mist. Babysitting. Cartwheels. Flowers. Boulders. Beauty. My little church back home - oh my gosh, I miss you guys. My youth group. Anklets. Fearlessness. Crooked teeth. Sprinting so fast you feel like you're flying. Skipping. Bug comfy chairs that swallow you up. Chocolate truffles. Vanilla Lattes. Secretly observing people's unique habits. Cinnamon. Love. Hugs. That waddle toddlers do when they're learning to walk. Kittens. Going super super fast. Being enveloped in water. Cliffs. Sunny meadows. Playing with people's hair. Dill pickles. The light perfumey smell of Oprah magazines. Mack massages. Dimples. Playing piano so fast your fingers feel like they're flying. Endorphins. Laughter. Really getting to know people. Dew-covered spiderwebs. Morning frost. YOU.
Monday, November 8, 2010
Funny Stuff
I decided to post a couple or funny stories here so you people at home can hear about them. I want to jot them down before they are replaced with new funny happenings and might be forgotten.
The Pimple Video
(Don't read and skip to the next story if you have a weak stomach)
So yesterday I was taking a shower, minding my own business, when I heard my roommates start screaming their heads off. I wasn't super worried, because I assumed it must be a cockroach or something. Well after a short pause they started screaming again, so I jumped out of the shower soaking wet, half soapy, and ran out with just a towel to see what was going on. Well all my roommates were crowded around one of our laptops, so I was like "what the heck is going on!?" And they started laughing and told each other to rewind it so I could watch it from the beginning.
It was a horrible video or this poor man with a massive pimple-cyst thing on is upper back getting cut open and popped. It's two minutes of these women cutting it open and just squeezing out huge, grotesque amounts of pus and blood. Just when you think the pimple couldn't possibly have more pus in it they squeeze it some more and more comes out. It's just about the most disgusting thing. It's one of those things that's absolutely horrible yet you just keep on watching out of disbelief.
So we all watched it together and all screamed throughout, especially me. (I can be a screamer at times, especially when puss the size of maggots is being squeezed out of some pimple.) So two of the staff in the room next to us hear our screaming and think we might be in some sort of danger, so they come bursting in, and of course we rewind the video and show it to them from the beginning. So now all of us are just standing around this laptop screaming and freaking out over this guy's zit, all while I'm still in my towel.
If you want to see the video, and have a really strong stomach, here's the link. But I don't suggest it.
The Cockroach I Didn't Catch
So the girls in my room, as well as a few girls in the rooms nearby, know that if there's a huge cockroach in their room, I have no problem with picking it up with my bare hands and letting it outside. I think most of them have a mixture of "oh, that's brave" with "she's really strange" and "I can't believe she cares about saving the vile creature instead of killing it" But nevertheless all are glad that the thing isn't in their rooms anymore. Well anyway a couple nights ago I heard one of the rooms had an especially large cockroach in their kitchen, so I went in to try to safely remove it. Well they just said it was somewhere on the floor, maybe behind the garbage can (it wasn't) or maybe in the shower (it wasn't) or something... Anyway they wanted me to keep searching for the stupid bug, and I wasn't finding it and I didn't really like looking in all these dirty places. And I was getting tired of looking for it. And the poor girls were all outside feeling scared and refusing to go in their rooms even though they were really tired and wanted to sleep.
So finally I just went in their kitchen, shouted "Oh my gosh, it really IS big!" and cupped my hands around a random spot on the floor. Then I ran out of the room with my hands cupped around the non-existent bug and pretended to let it go off the balcony, and it was super funny to have the girls around me screaming and moving out of the way. They had no idea the cockroach was still in there somewhere and went to sleep and kept thanking me, and I felt kinda guilty. But they found out later and thought it was funny.
"That's a good word Chad!"
A couple weeks ago one of our speakers told us this story from a church he attended. So there was this preacher who went to this church in Ireland. He got really discouraged because he had preached at more charismatic churches before, but this church, no matter what he said, just sat there like zombies with blank dead faces and he never knew if anything he said even got through them. Anyway his wife decided to try and set an example for the rest of the church, so she sat in the front row, and after every point he made, or during any pause, she would loudly say, "That's a good word Chad, that's a good word!" Which made the rest of the church super uncomfortable and put them in their shells even more.
The speaker who told us the story said it was just about the funniest thing ever. Anyway after that now if somebody in class says something, or even just at random times throughout the day, we'll just say in a super girly voice, "That's a good word Chad, that's a good word!" It's super funny. I know I'm probably going to do it accidentally when I get home and nobody will know what I'm talking about.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Growth spurt.
I can feel myself changing. I'm sorry if this freaks friends at home out, but when I come home I'll be different.
First of all, remember how I've always been finicky with germs and food? Like if food is touching or it doesn't taste right I don't eat it? Well here it's completely different. (I can just hear mom going "woohoo!") At home if someone says, "Amanda, would you like this peace of ham? It's only been out for an hour." I'd be grossed out, not just because of the hour part but I don't even really like ham. But here, here I'm like "YES! PROTEIN! Gimme the ham!" It's weird. Or if I drop a cookie on the floor. As long as it's not in the Ohana Court where everybody is, I'll most likely pick it up and keep on eating it. I'm always hungry here and there isn't much snacky food at all. I'd buy some but everything is so expensive. A box of wheat thins at walmart is five bucks. Five bucks! And the dollar menu at McDonalds is a $1.20 menu here.
Another thing that's changed is me being finicky about my privacy and space. I've (mostly) stopped being paranoid about doing stuff like dressing and primping in front of other people. I used to hate when my sister even watched me put make up on. But here when eight girls are all in a rush and there's two mirrors, you just stop caring. And my personal space is my bunk bed and two shelves. I used to be "this is your space, this is mine, nobody can touch my stuff," but now I'm fine with sharing space, and hairbrushes, and clothes, and whatever. It's almost freeing.
The major thing that's really changed though is my attitude. I realized in the past week I've been living a life coated in apathy. There are a gazillion amazingly wonderful and amazingly horrid things going on all around me but I've been desensitized. Desensitized to beauty and to tragedy. This isn't God's plan for us! I should be FILLED with awe for the things God loves. His glory is everywhere! In every child's innocent smile, in every bird and leaf and every painted sunset it's His mark on the world. He is everything that is beautiful and good. Glory is everywhere so how could we forget to see it?
It's the same thing with pain. There is injustice everywhere. This world is still full of racism, hunger, sex trafficking, hatred, and hopelessness, amongst so many other bad things. How much do we hurt? How much do we care?
Many regular church-goers aren't any better then anybody else/ They sit in our little pews once a week and half-heartily listen to some guy while sneaking peeks at their watches. The rest of the week who even remembers about that spiritual stuff? Don't they know that there is this INCREDIBLE God who is madly pursuing them, who is way more devoted to their lives and happiness then they could ever be themselves? There is this man who died so that we can truly live in freedom!
Girls, instead of waiting on some guy to fill you up, look right in front of you and realize that there is this amazing Jesus guy who thinks you are STUNNING, and wants to take you away on the most amazing adventure ever, and he can fill your heart in a way that absolutely no guy ever could! People, realize that there is this INCREDIBLE father who yearns for His children to just come to Him and just rest in His perfect peace and comfort! The world will abandoned you and leaving you empty and tired but there is this GOD who is just waiting on His tip-toes to fill us with his spirit. WHY doesn't this get us more exited!?
The speakers from last week said something that I hope will stick with me forever, as well as grab your hearts as well.
There is too much beauty and too much pain to ever be bored again.
Don't you think it's weird that so many churches, and especially youth groups, are dedicating so much of their time and money focusing on how to keep people at church from being bored? All these youth groups, (I'm not talking about my youth group by the way, I love you guys,) spending hundreds, maybe thousands of dollars, on getting that new video-game set or cooler looking room to get more teenagers to think God is cool, and that He isn't all boring and stuffy like old people make Him look.
Why do we need this? When did God ever become boring in the first place? People, there is the God who is perfect and bigger and so great that it's impossible to exaggerate anything about Him. And He, He is madly in love with us no matter what crappy stuff we've spent our lives doing. And He is waiting to dive into our hearts and transform our lives into things of pure joy. His love gets you higher than any form of any drug, His love will leave you more satisfied then any relationship, His love will make you feel safer then any caretaker or parent, and how on earth is that boring!?
I've loved and fallowed God for many years, but right now it feels like a thin vial is being uncovered from my face, and I never even knew it was there. I am feeling God's wonder and love and beauty and awesomeness in a whole new way, and it if filling me with ecstasy! Half the time I feel drunk. (Well, I think. I've never been drunk so I don't know for sure.) I think of the pain in this world and how long I've been a lifestyle of I-don't-give-a-crap and it makes me want to cry but then at the very same time I can feel God's love and peace almost like a heavy warm coat on my heart and it makes me want to dance. I feel so joyful and my cheeks hurt at the end of the day from smiling. I pray that this never, ever ends.
People, it's time to get rid of apathy!
First of all, remember how I've always been finicky with germs and food? Like if food is touching or it doesn't taste right I don't eat it? Well here it's completely different. (I can just hear mom going "woohoo!") At home if someone says, "Amanda, would you like this peace of ham? It's only been out for an hour." I'd be grossed out, not just because of the hour part but I don't even really like ham. But here, here I'm like "YES! PROTEIN! Gimme the ham!" It's weird. Or if I drop a cookie on the floor. As long as it's not in the Ohana Court where everybody is, I'll most likely pick it up and keep on eating it. I'm always hungry here and there isn't much snacky food at all. I'd buy some but everything is so expensive. A box of wheat thins at walmart is five bucks. Five bucks! And the dollar menu at McDonalds is a $1.20 menu here.
Another thing that's changed is me being finicky about my privacy and space. I've (mostly) stopped being paranoid about doing stuff like dressing and primping in front of other people. I used to hate when my sister even watched me put make up on. But here when eight girls are all in a rush and there's two mirrors, you just stop caring. And my personal space is my bunk bed and two shelves. I used to be "this is your space, this is mine, nobody can touch my stuff," but now I'm fine with sharing space, and hairbrushes, and clothes, and whatever. It's almost freeing.
The major thing that's really changed though is my attitude. I realized in the past week I've been living a life coated in apathy. There are a gazillion amazingly wonderful and amazingly horrid things going on all around me but I've been desensitized. Desensitized to beauty and to tragedy. This isn't God's plan for us! I should be FILLED with awe for the things God loves. His glory is everywhere! In every child's innocent smile, in every bird and leaf and every painted sunset it's His mark on the world. He is everything that is beautiful and good. Glory is everywhere so how could we forget to see it?
It's the same thing with pain. There is injustice everywhere. This world is still full of racism, hunger, sex trafficking, hatred, and hopelessness, amongst so many other bad things. How much do we hurt? How much do we care?
Many regular church-goers aren't any better then anybody else/ They sit in our little pews once a week and half-heartily listen to some guy while sneaking peeks at their watches. The rest of the week who even remembers about that spiritual stuff? Don't they know that there is this INCREDIBLE God who is madly pursuing them, who is way more devoted to their lives and happiness then they could ever be themselves? There is this man who died so that we can truly live in freedom!
Girls, instead of waiting on some guy to fill you up, look right in front of you and realize that there is this amazing Jesus guy who thinks you are STUNNING, and wants to take you away on the most amazing adventure ever, and he can fill your heart in a way that absolutely no guy ever could! People, realize that there is this INCREDIBLE father who yearns for His children to just come to Him and just rest in His perfect peace and comfort! The world will abandoned you and leaving you empty and tired but there is this GOD who is just waiting on His tip-toes to fill us with his spirit. WHY doesn't this get us more exited!?
The speakers from last week said something that I hope will stick with me forever, as well as grab your hearts as well.
There is too much beauty and too much pain to ever be bored again.
Don't you think it's weird that so many churches, and especially youth groups, are dedicating so much of their time and money focusing on how to keep people at church from being bored? All these youth groups, (I'm not talking about my youth group by the way, I love you guys,) spending hundreds, maybe thousands of dollars, on getting that new video-game set or cooler looking room to get more teenagers to think God is cool, and that He isn't all boring and stuffy like old people make Him look.
Why do we need this? When did God ever become boring in the first place? People, there is the God who is perfect and bigger and so great that it's impossible to exaggerate anything about Him. And He, He is madly in love with us no matter what crappy stuff we've spent our lives doing. And He is waiting to dive into our hearts and transform our lives into things of pure joy. His love gets you higher than any form of any drug, His love will leave you more satisfied then any relationship, His love will make you feel safer then any caretaker or parent, and how on earth is that boring!?
I've loved and fallowed God for many years, but right now it feels like a thin vial is being uncovered from my face, and I never even knew it was there. I am feeling God's wonder and love and beauty and awesomeness in a whole new way, and it if filling me with ecstasy! Half the time I feel drunk. (Well, I think. I've never been drunk so I don't know for sure.) I think of the pain in this world and how long I've been a lifestyle of I-don't-give-a-crap and it makes me want to cry but then at the very same time I can feel God's love and peace almost like a heavy warm coat on my heart and it makes me want to dance. I feel so joyful and my cheeks hurt at the end of the day from smiling. I pray that this never, ever ends.
People, it's time to get rid of apathy!
Thursday, October 21, 2010
God is so amazing!
So today was one of the most joyful days ever. I woke up a little tired and cranky, but as soon as I got into the swing of things all was great. The message as always was spot on, and the lunch was actually pretty good. But what really got me pumped on life is the prayer room. The prayer room is where we all go to worship. It's not like most worship where there's the rows of chair and the slides and stuff. There's just a few people up front that play music but they just go with the flow. If it feels right they'll play a song for a minute or ten, they don't really have it all planned out and I really like it. People sit, stand, read their bible, journal, dance, sing, basically whatever they want to express their love to God. Today I just felt like singing super loud and jumping up and down and I just got so filled with God's joy. It's like He was just right there and I could feel him all around me like sunshine. After singing and dancing for a couple hours we all got into our groups to pray for our countries. So we got even more pumped up over that praying together over all the people there around the world. I left that place just filled with so much joy and energy it was just crazy.
So every wednesday night here we have ministry night. What it is is that we walk to the streets of downtown Kona and basically love on people. The goal isn't to convert people or tell them they're wrong or anything, the goal is to just be a light and let people know that Jesus really loves them. We do stuff like listen to their stories, buy the homeless some food, or just pray with them if they wish. Of course if they want to know more about Jesus or follow them that's super cool, but we most def want to break that stereo-type of that christian who goes down to the street and yells "REPENT YOU SINNERS!" Because people hate that, it pushes them away, and that's such an unloving way to present such a loving God. Over the years lots of people have become good friends with the people here, have been healed from injuries or sicknesses, and even decided to follow Jesus themselves. There's all sorts of incredible stories of all this crazy awesome stuff that;s been going on down there at past ministry nights, but I never really fully believed they would happen to me.
So I got in a group of four other people (we have to always be with someone else for safety) and we prayed for the joy God gave us to just overflow into other people's lives. We walked down and started searching for people to love on. I was especially keeping my eyes out for any homeless people, because personally I find them easiest to talk to. They're usually more open to what you have to say, and they're always happy to let you buy them a sandwich or something.
Anyway we weren't really finding anybody who wasn't talking to someone else, so we all decided to lay on the grass. Three of my group decided that they should just chill on the grass, but the fourth guy Ron and I wanted to start walking around to see more people. We walked around for awhile, and I was starting to maybe think it wasn't such a good idea to leave the rest of the group. No offense to Ron, he's a cool guy, but see the three people that stayed, Jonas, Josh, and Taren, were more extroverted people, while Ron and I are more shy and we both felt super awkward just going up to strangers. We tried it a few times, just saying hi to a few people and even offering a guy to buy one guy a cup of coffee, but none of them seemed very interested. It was getting close to the time when we were supposed to return back and I was feeling pretty discouraged.
Finally Ron and I decided to stop and pray before we walked back towards where we were supposed to meet. Well, we were about a block-length away when we passed this boy who looked like he was about eleven or twelve. He was sitting alone on a bench looking really upset and he was rubbing his ankle. Ron and I walked a little passed him and then stood awkwardly peeking at him, wondering whether we should approach him or not to pray for him. Don't get me wrong, of course I feel bad for twelve year old boys with hurt ankles, but I'm also totally new to this whole praying for healing thing. I didn't even know God still really ever did that nowadays. But since I've been here it happens all the time, even in my class. Somebody will have an injury or ailment and we'll all lay hands on it and pray for God to heal it and it immediately gets better. Now that I've seen it a few times with my own eyes I no longer believe it's bologna that people fake on TV shows. But I never though God would do that through me. I mean what happens if I pray for the boy's ankle and it still hurts and then I make a fool out of my self and make God look stupid.
Anyway Ron and I finally took a deep breath and went over and asked him if he was okay and what happened to his ankle. We asked his name (JT was his name) and if we could pray for his ankle. He lit up and said "Yes, Please do!" We layed hands on his ankle, gently as to not hurt it, and each prayed, asking God to not only heal JT's ankle but just to show him how much God loves him. We said Amen and asked JT to move it around to see if it still hurts. I was totally doubting everything personally and was ready to apologize for not being a "good enough prayer" or something like that. But I looked at JT and he had a look of complete shock on his face. Like a deer in headlights. He wiggled it around a little more and then said, "How did you do that!?"
I was in shock! I felt like jumping up and down! I didn't know God would do such a thing through me! Ron and I were all smiley and told him it wasn't us, it was God, and God had chosen to heal his ankle just because He loves him and cares about him that much. JT kept saying it was "totally freaky, in a good way." We hugged him and talked for a few minutes more and started heading back when JT started limping after us trying to catch up. (His ankle wasn't totally healed, it felt a lot better though.) He wanted to know if we were Christians and we started talking more. By then another group of YWAMers joined us and started talking to JT too. The other group along with us decided to pray for JT's ankle again to see if God would heal it even further, after we were done nothing hurt but little tingle in his toe.
Matt Beasley, one of the guys in the other groups who is just a crazy-hard Jesus-lover, got a strong feeling from God that JT was really into music. He asked JT if that was true and JT then immediately lit up like a deer in headlights again and started excitingly tell us about all the different instruments he plays, and how the heck did we know that about him!?
We once again told him that it was God, not any power from us. JT is a Christian who loves God, but like me just a month ago, he had no idea that God is so crazy awesome and so madly into him that He would do stuff like heal a sprained ankle or let us know cool stuff about him, Matt Beasley then went on telling JT that God has a really special plan for JT's life and wants to use his musical abilities in amazing ways to give people hope. How exiting!
JT once again thanked us and just looked super exited and filled with happiness and disbelief that God would seek him out so fervently through complete strangers! I have no doubt that he was super encouraged in his faith and that this night shook up his whole life and outlook on God.
Because I know that's exactly what happened to me tonight!
God is soooooo good! :-)
So every wednesday night here we have ministry night. What it is is that we walk to the streets of downtown Kona and basically love on people. The goal isn't to convert people or tell them they're wrong or anything, the goal is to just be a light and let people know that Jesus really loves them. We do stuff like listen to their stories, buy the homeless some food, or just pray with them if they wish. Of course if they want to know more about Jesus or follow them that's super cool, but we most def want to break that stereo-type of that christian who goes down to the street and yells "REPENT YOU SINNERS!" Because people hate that, it pushes them away, and that's such an unloving way to present such a loving God. Over the years lots of people have become good friends with the people here, have been healed from injuries or sicknesses, and even decided to follow Jesus themselves. There's all sorts of incredible stories of all this crazy awesome stuff that;s been going on down there at past ministry nights, but I never really fully believed they would happen to me.
So I got in a group of four other people (we have to always be with someone else for safety) and we prayed for the joy God gave us to just overflow into other people's lives. We walked down and started searching for people to love on. I was especially keeping my eyes out for any homeless people, because personally I find them easiest to talk to. They're usually more open to what you have to say, and they're always happy to let you buy them a sandwich or something.
Anyway we weren't really finding anybody who wasn't talking to someone else, so we all decided to lay on the grass. Three of my group decided that they should just chill on the grass, but the fourth guy Ron and I wanted to start walking around to see more people. We walked around for awhile, and I was starting to maybe think it wasn't such a good idea to leave the rest of the group. No offense to Ron, he's a cool guy, but see the three people that stayed, Jonas, Josh, and Taren, were more extroverted people, while Ron and I are more shy and we both felt super awkward just going up to strangers. We tried it a few times, just saying hi to a few people and even offering a guy to buy one guy a cup of coffee, but none of them seemed very interested. It was getting close to the time when we were supposed to return back and I was feeling pretty discouraged.
Finally Ron and I decided to stop and pray before we walked back towards where we were supposed to meet. Well, we were about a block-length away when we passed this boy who looked like he was about eleven or twelve. He was sitting alone on a bench looking really upset and he was rubbing his ankle. Ron and I walked a little passed him and then stood awkwardly peeking at him, wondering whether we should approach him or not to pray for him. Don't get me wrong, of course I feel bad for twelve year old boys with hurt ankles, but I'm also totally new to this whole praying for healing thing. I didn't even know God still really ever did that nowadays. But since I've been here it happens all the time, even in my class. Somebody will have an injury or ailment and we'll all lay hands on it and pray for God to heal it and it immediately gets better. Now that I've seen it a few times with my own eyes I no longer believe it's bologna that people fake on TV shows. But I never though God would do that through me. I mean what happens if I pray for the boy's ankle and it still hurts and then I make a fool out of my self and make God look stupid.
Anyway Ron and I finally took a deep breath and went over and asked him if he was okay and what happened to his ankle. We asked his name (JT was his name) and if we could pray for his ankle. He lit up and said "Yes, Please do!" We layed hands on his ankle, gently as to not hurt it, and each prayed, asking God to not only heal JT's ankle but just to show him how much God loves him. We said Amen and asked JT to move it around to see if it still hurts. I was totally doubting everything personally and was ready to apologize for not being a "good enough prayer" or something like that. But I looked at JT and he had a look of complete shock on his face. Like a deer in headlights. He wiggled it around a little more and then said, "How did you do that!?"
I was in shock! I felt like jumping up and down! I didn't know God would do such a thing through me! Ron and I were all smiley and told him it wasn't us, it was God, and God had chosen to heal his ankle just because He loves him and cares about him that much. JT kept saying it was "totally freaky, in a good way." We hugged him and talked for a few minutes more and started heading back when JT started limping after us trying to catch up. (His ankle wasn't totally healed, it felt a lot better though.) He wanted to know if we were Christians and we started talking more. By then another group of YWAMers joined us and started talking to JT too. The other group along with us decided to pray for JT's ankle again to see if God would heal it even further, after we were done nothing hurt but little tingle in his toe.
Matt Beasley, one of the guys in the other groups who is just a crazy-hard Jesus-lover, got a strong feeling from God that JT was really into music. He asked JT if that was true and JT then immediately lit up like a deer in headlights again and started excitingly tell us about all the different instruments he plays, and how the heck did we know that about him!?
We once again told him that it was God, not any power from us. JT is a Christian who loves God, but like me just a month ago, he had no idea that God is so crazy awesome and so madly into him that He would do stuff like heal a sprained ankle or let us know cool stuff about him, Matt Beasley then went on telling JT that God has a really special plan for JT's life and wants to use his musical abilities in amazing ways to give people hope. How exiting!
JT once again thanked us and just looked super exited and filled with happiness and disbelief that God would seek him out so fervently through complete strangers! I have no doubt that he was super encouraged in his faith and that this night shook up his whole life and outlook on God.
Because I know that's exactly what happened to me tonight!
God is soooooo good! :-)
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