Engagement Pictures

A couple days ago Vickie Chu, a person on my China team, had her boyfriend vcome visit before we all left for Chiners.  I didn't know either of them that well but I could tell they were wonderful together.  They are so funny and adorable.  A couple days after he arrived they both came all smiley and secretive looking to one of our team meetings and said they had an announcement at the end.  Well I kinda guessed and looked at Vickie's finger and there was the prettiest ring on it and I was just like "YES!  I knew it!"  So sure enough they were engaged, and then they asked if I could take some engagement pictures for them before I left!  It was totally last minute and pretty funny.  It was like two days before we left and I was taking a nap and Vickie came in and woke me up, and bam, we took pictures.  :-)  It was sooo much fun.

At the airport.

So I'm sitting in the San Fransisco airport right now.  We had a long flight from Kona last night and got here at 4 AM and haven't left since.  My next flight is to Beijing, then to Dalian.  On the way here I watched two movies that were pretty good.  I don't know the names.  I barely got any sleep though.  I'm very tired right now and I hope I can manage to fall asleep on my next flight!  The few hours before I left yesterday I was panicking so much because I found out all my stuff couldn't fit into my bag, and I had to get rid of a bunch of stuff, and I couldn't figure out which to make a carry-on and which to check, and I wanted to bring my ukulele of course, and OH I was panicked.  But I'm fine now, with two very stuffed small bags.  Everybody is teasing me because my ukulele is stuffed full of underwear.  Yes, underwear.  It was a last-minute, desperate attempt to make my bag zip closed and it was the first thing I thought of!

I'll try to catch you guys later.  Love you all!

FAQ's

I remember when my mom needed to know something on the internet, and I just told her to go to the "F A Q's" and she had no idea what I was talking about.  "What are effaykeeyoos?" Because painfully obvious things to my generation are just not painfully obvious to my mom's generation I guess.  :-)
Anyway, FAQ stands for Frequently Asked Questions, and since I've been getting a lot of FAQs from back home I'm gonna try to answer them here.

What is YWAM?  YWAM stands for Youth With A Mission.  It's a bunch of youngish people coming to know more about God, and then go out into all the world and make God and His love known everywhere.  Not just by telling people about God, (we don't want to be preachy by the way, we're not like going around shouting "Repent!" like you might think we would) but by just trying to help communities around the world.  Depending where we go, this could mean different things.  In Africa for instance, that might mean taking care of babies left near dumpsters, providing them with clean water, and building houses.  While in Sweden, it might be getting up in the middle of the night and handing out free hot chocolate and talking to lonely homeless people.  In New York it might mean trying to be warm and loving to people who might be really successful but feel super cold and lonely amidst the busy and hurried lifestyle.
Right now I'm doing a DTS, which stands for Discipleship Training School.  It's where I come here, in Kona Hawaii, for three months for the lecture phase, were we get awesome intense training about the bible, and God, and life and such.  We pray where we should go, and then after the lecture phase, different teams go out into different countries and live there for three months for the outreach phase.

When are you coming back?  The very end of March or beginning of April.  I'm not exactly sure.

Where are you going?  China.  We'll be staying in Dalian for most of the time, and then partway through some of us will go to DanDong.  If you want to find it on a map, it's up near the right, kinda near the top, near the North Korean border.

What are you doing there?  We're not exactly sure of everything yet.  Mainly working with university students, helping them with their english, and just trying to build relationships with them.  We were also thinking of possibly starting up a cafe where people can just come and chill, like people do at starbucks back home.  Because there are coffee shops there, but not many coffee shops that are for hanging out, not just buying coffee.

How can I keep in touch with you while you're there?  Don't plan on a whole lot of keeping in touch.  Phoning the USA from China is super expensive, as well as talking on Skype.  Facebook will most likely be government blocked.  I will try to keep in touch by email, and try to keep people up-to-date on what's going on here, but internet is costly and limited, so I'm not sure how often or quickly I will keep up with it all.  But that doesn't mean stop sending me emails.  I will read them every chance I get,and I'm sure I would totally appreciate hearing from you all, it's just I might not to get back to every one right away.

What kind of place will you be staying in?  In a hotel at the base there.  We have one bathroom for fifteen people.  So yeah, pray for that.  It will be super mega freezing cold.  The food is supposedly super tasty but might be hard on our digestive systems.  I also heard everything is super inexpensive there, especially clothes, which I'm really happy about.  :-)  I don't know a whole lot more about China, but I'm sure I'll find out a whole lot once I'm there.

When are you leaving for China?  December 28th.  We'll be flying a night flight to San Fransisco, and then to some major city in China (I think it was Beijing but I'm having a mind-blank) and then to Dalian.  Airports and flying for like two-three days.  It sounds sucky, but I really love airports and flying so I'm super stoked!

Will you be in danger?  Kinda maybe sorta.  China is a communist country where Christianity is still illegal, so I have to be very careful about what I say and do.  Wherever I go something could happen to me, but guess what?  Something could happen to me in New York, or in Hawaii, or even back home.  I believe God wants me to go to China for a good reason, and as long as I be careful and smart, he's a good God and will protect me.

Do you like it there?  Yes!  So much!

Do you miss home?  Yes!  So much!

How on earth did you get the money to do all this?  My grandparents had a stock in apple saved up, and that payed for a big chunk of it.  Other then that my family prayed and asked people, and my friends, family, and church have just overwhelmed me with their support.  I have a small church, and nobody in it is super rich or anything, so the way that group of like fifty people sent me thousands of dollars to have this incredible opportunity has just blessed me beyond whatever I imagined.  People back home, both my biological family and my church family, Madison Community, I love you guys so much.  Thank you!


If you want me to answer any more questions, leave a comment below and I'll answer it.  Thanks for all your prayers!  Love you!

Anew

What if you just packed up everything and went somewhere new where you didn't know a single person?  Would you keep to yourself?  Would you want to make a lot of new friends or just a few?  What would it be like to just go somewhere totally new, and have everybody meet have nothing to go on for their impression of you?

I've always wondered those kinds of things, and I'm almost at the halfway mark, three months, and I've found out a bit.

It's different.

At home, almost everybody I meet has something to go on.  "This is Amanda, and she's from Washington, where it's rainy and cold."  See and just from being from Washington you'd probably think "She probably doesn't mind rain, and she probably has a few flannel shirts, and I wonder if she likes Owl City."  But here people might hear I'm from Washington, but besides the few people here that are from the place, they don't know what on earth being from Washington says about me, because they have never been there.

Here people have no idea who my family is.  They don't know my parents, or my sister, they don't know my pets.  They have nothing to go by.  It's kinda cool, but weird as well, to have people just see me and nothing else.  It's like starting fresh.  But it's also strange to have people not know things about you that I've always just kinda expected people to know.

It's just so weird having to explain some things.  Like when I say something really off the wall, some people still act surprised!  Or when they find out I have played a lot of interments, not just piano.  I'm always thinking "Duh, I'm a Stangland.  We all play like at least five."  But people here have no idea!  They all think I'm outgoing, because they haven't seen me be painfully shy during my younger years.  They don't meet my more outgoing sister, so they have nothing to compare me to.  Or I keep saying these inside jokes everybody knows back home, and people here just give me the strangest look!  Super weird.

But you know what?  It'll probably be super weird going back home too, because I'll be used to living here, (Or soon, in China!) and I'll probably have picked up all sorts of little traits that I'll bring back.  Like I know there'll probably be times where somebody will say something and I'll do that YWAM finger-clicking-flick thing or shout SHABBA!  Or say COMPROMISE to everything as a joke.  My jokes and habits have changed.  I think I've only made a "that's what she said" joke about two or three times since I've been here.  Well, at least out loud...

Animals

Something that has been burning on my mind for a long time is the question of how we're supposed to treat animals.

I absolutely love animals.  My first word wasn't mama or dada, it was "kitty".  I love not only dogs and cats, but rats, elephants, snakes, birds, bugs, pretty much everything that breathes.  I find animals absolutely fascinating.  I know a lot of people probably like animals a lot too, but I'm not sure they feel it the same way as me.

Like take a couple weeks ago.  Near campus there's these wild pigs that eat all our cafeteria leftovers.  They live out in the fields, eat tons, and live nice long lives of happy fatness until we kill them.  Now as far as eating meat goes, I don't think it's wrong, and as far as slaughtering pigs go I think it's wonderful that they live full happy lives out in the wild before they die.  Anyway our school leader and a bunch of the guys wanted to have a "man bonding" experience, so right before thanksgiving they all went down and caught the pigs with their bare hands and killed it, and we all feasted on it the next day.  I guess that's not a problem.  The pig tasted really good.  But I was baffled by how much joy it brought them.  When it was time for the guys to volunteer to go down and help kill it, they got super exited.  Like they started hollering and talking about how epic it would be.

Now this I don't get.  Because if I was there I'd probably cry, not even joking.  The thought of anything dying just isn't something I think is worth celebrating.  The thought of the pig being caught and struggling to get away until it finally got knocked out and cut open made me very sad.  I'm not calling it wrong, they did it in a very humane way in which the pig would be killed painlessly and quickly, but I just don't understand how anybody could watch a living creature die and think it fun.

I hate it when anybody or anything feels pain.

Even bugs.  People burn them alive with magnifying glasses, or pour salt on slugs, and I think it's just simply very mean.  Even if those animals are very small and simple, they have nerve endings and little brains, and they can feel physical pain.  I'm not saying bugs shouldn't be killed if they're threatening you.  If there's a mosquito near me, I'll squish it.  But I won't do anything like squish it half-way and watch it just suffer for a while longer before dying.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, if you must kill an animal, do it respectfully and quickly.  Is that asking too much?

Something that has always bugged me is how whenever I speak up about animals rights, or get sad about how animals around the world (especially on may farms that are in charge of our meat and dairy products) are being treated, Christians, not most people in general but Christians like me, always say something like "I think you should be more focused on people."  They go on to say that child abuse is way worse then animal abuse, or how it's horrid when people are more focused on preventing seal clubbing then saving unborn babies.  Well you know what?  That's totally true!  It's bad when people care more about seals then babies, and child abuse is worse then animal abuse!  But how on earth is that relevant?  Do people really need to point that out as if talking about being kind to animals is saying that we shouldn't focus on people?  I never ever said that humans don't come first, so it's totally unfair to assume that just because I think animals are important I think people are less.  That's just putting words in my mouth that were never there.

When God first made the world, he made us as leaders and caretakers over all creation.  He let Adam name all the animals.  He looked down on everything He made, people and creature alike, and said that it was very good.  There are more verses in the bible that suggest He loves and cares about individual animals (Take Matthew 10:29, for instance).  Throughout the bible but especially in Psalms it tells us again and again the the beauty of nature reveals and proclaims his majesty and beauty.  Which I can totally relate to.  Time and time again whenever I would doubt God was real, I would just go outside and look at the colorful sky, or my favorite strong tree, or a delicate little insect, and I'd be reminded that no, of course something this lovely and complex surely isn't the result of a random accident.  I believe the beauty and uniqueness of nature and animals point out how glorious God is, and they bring God joy just be being themselves.

Most people would think it offencive to say God is much like a dog.  And I admit it sounds bad.  But stay with me here when I say that I personally see so much of God's character in a dog.  Dogs are fiercely loyal and extremely loving.  They love you the same no matter what.  NO matter how I've acted during the day, no matter what crap I've done, as soon as I walk in the room Kylie and Gus, my two little corgis, are going to love me and welcome me EXACTLY the same, which is with utmost enthusiasm.  And that's just how God is!  I look at other animals and realise they too proclaim the glory of God, perhaps by showcasing his different characters.  God is beautiful, like the most exquisite butterfly, like a sinewy Arabian horse, like a colorful fish.  God is graceful like a jungle cat.  And everywhere he goes beauty fallows behind Him like a dew filled spider-silk web.  To say God created animals for food only is just silly.  People, he created animals wonderfully and carefully.  If he meant to make them only for food, he would've just kept making a bunch of manna with legs.

I wonder, is it wrong to think so highly of animals?  I've asked God exactly what he wants me to think about them and the only answer I get back is that he loves them even more then me.  But still I don't know if my opinions about animals are too off, mostly because other people, especially Christians, just don't agree.

Many Christians I talk to believe that animals are souly made for food.  I believe that while God does give us permission to eat meat, it wasn't his original plan, and even animals like cows and chickens have a purpose that's so much more then just being food.  Most Christians believe animal rights don't really have a place in our endeavors, because focusing on human injustices is so much more important.  I believe that while of course they're more important, caring about the treatment of animals doesn't take away from how much more I care about things like preventing child abuse and aids and world hunger.  Most Christians believe that animals are kinda like little affectionate robots without soul or reason.  I believe that until somebody comes up to me with a bible verse specifically stating that this isn't true, animals do have souls, maybe not souls that need redemption like ours but souls nevertheless.  Souls that have an at least an innate understanding of God.  I see birds sing in the morning and lambs dance in the spring for His glory.  I loved and knew my old dog Django like he was a person, and I believe that he's in heaven enjoying the bliss around him, not just a dead bit of bones buried in my backyard.

I know this post was controversial and many people might not agree with it.  I'm very open to any other opinions one might have to bring more wisdom to this topic, so please don't hesitate to comment below.  I think I have it set so you don't have to sign up or anything, you just type it in and presto, I can see what you have to say!  :-)

Birthday!

Hey, sorry I haven't written anything in the past week or two.  There has been a lot going on but nothing I could think specifically to write about.

Soo.  I haven't thought about it much, but I'm a year older now.  I've been so busy I didn't think about my birthday a whole lot until the day of.

A whole lot of people have been here for the 50th jubilee.  It's the 50th anniversary or YWAM and people are coming from all over the world to celebrate.  So for weeks we've been working to prepare, doing weeding and building and such.  But on the 29th it started, and people started flooding in.  It's a mass of joyful, colorful, multi-cultured business and celebration.  With that there's lots of work to do during this week to keep everything from turning into complete chaos.  So the morning of the first day we all got assigned work duties.  A couple people got garbage/recycling (I prayed the whole time they wouldn't call on me, and thank goodness I wasn't called!) and a whole lot of people got night security, and the remaining ten or so of us got Friday night cleanup.  Everybody else on Friday night cleanup was super happy because we only work on one day, and only four hours.  But I was disappointed because I really wanted to be on security and stay up hanging out with people.  So I just randomly caught up with a few of the South Africa girls and I ended up sleeping with their team.  We watched despicable me and midnight passed, and I just turned to my friend Ashley and said "Hey, I'm nineteen.  Yay!"  And that was the technical beginning of November 30th.

The next day I woke up and all my roommates wished me happy birthday and I went pleasantly about my morning.  It was super weird, I kept thinking "It would be really cool if somebody gave me a little flower for my birthday." But I wasn't expecting anything of course.  But I'm just minding my own bisiness when BAM, one of my China team buddies gives me a little plumeria flower.  It was pretty cool.  God always likes to plan neat things like that.  ^_^

As afternoon passed I wanted to maybe do something fun, not anything big but maybe tag along somewhere and just hang out with people, but everybody seemed too busy.  It seemed like everybody was going somewhere, like they were planning to do something, and I kept asking "Where's everybody going?  Can I come?" and they either ignored me or changed the subject.  So I thought "Gosh, I must be really annoying, this sucks.  Nobody wants me to tag along anywhere.  They won't even tell me where they're going!"  It was awful!

So I just sat around feeling kinda depressed and lonely and played my ukulele for awhile.  And for some reason my roommate Elise REALLY wanted to take me to the beach with some of our other roommates so they could pray for me.  So I'm like, what the heck, okay.  So we walk down there, and she seems really happy, and keeps looking at me.  When I got down to the beach there was a table with some balloons set up, and I wondered who they were for.  (Yes, I am really THAT easy to fool.)  Anyway I walk closer and all the sudden about fifteen or so friends randomly jump out from behind a wall and yell SURPRISE!  And I was soooo stunned that I just could barely talk for at least a minute!  I felt soooo loved and blessed, and it was just wonderful!  And then I understood why nobody would tell me what was going on earlier, and I just felt so silly!

They made me a birthday bowl of mud-pudding stuff.  Chocolate pudding with cookie crumbs and gummy worms, which is totally me since I like worms.  And they got me these cute little presents too!  And we all played games and just hung out for a bit and it was just wonderful.  I want to give a special thank you to Elise and Esther and Laura who helped plan the whole thing, but also just everybody that came too.  You guys absolutely made my day and blessed me soooo much!

THe rest of the day was splendid probably not becuase anything else comparably awesome happened but because I was just so happy.  Somebody even bought me a frappe, and I got to hang out with my China team nd stayed up super late with them, and all in all being nineteen has been pretty fun so far.

Wake up.

So I'm just gonna write a whole bunch of things I've been learning in the past few weeks that has been waking me up as well as lots of the people around me.  This post is gonna be frank and it might piss you off.  :-)

It's heavy on my heart that my generation (who knows, maybe older and younger people as well) have been living a lifestyle of this thing that can be summed up with something like "how close can I get to the line before I cross it?"  You know what makes me mad!?  Is that I haven't been an exception!

You know what people our age are spending our time on?  Questions like "how close can I get to having sex without having sex?" or "How not-hard do I have to work on this without being lazy?" or "How is smoking weed wrong?  It's not as bad for you as cigarettes and I bet they're gonna legalize it soon anyways."

We need to be leading a new revolution.  A revolution of people that are standing up for what is right and true and lovely and glorious!  Do you know that there are places out there in the world where such things have happened?  Do you know that there are communities in parts of the world where ever since the majority of people there have fallen deeply in love with God and have set down they're lifestyle of "just good enough" and replaced it with a lifestyle of "All for God's best"?  This is what happens: Jails are closed down because there's no crime.  Hospitals get emptied because people are healed.  Families are restored and people live a lifestyle of joy and live in harmony with eachother!  People this is not some fantasy!  This is reality and that same revival could be happening in Snohomish, in Everett, Seattle, wherever, if we as people who know the truth would wake up.

We need to stop being okay with all this pain and crap going on around us because Jesus is gonna come back someday and all this will be gone anyways.  NO!  We need to be spending our lives getting ready, and trying to share as much of God's light as we can.  Jesus told us to pray "Let your kingdom come, let your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven."  What is the kingdom?  It's everything wonderful and glorious and lovely.  It's where the presence of God dwells and the feeling of everything pure and good are obvious.  We are called to bring heaven to earth, not just waiting for us to die and get out of this place called earth so we can go to heaven.  Did you hear that?  Let's read that part of The Lord's Prayer again.  "Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth, AS IT IS IN HEAVEN!

I wish I had know this before.  Because then maybe instead of living a life of "how little can I do around the house, or in school, to get my parents off my back" I could've been living a life of "What can I be doing to make everything around me better reflect the glory of heaven?"

________________________________________________________________

While I'm at it I'm gonna run through some things that a bunch of people my age, Christians included, are stuck on.  I'm not trying to judge you by these, but it's my hope that it might convict you as much as it has convicted people in my class so that you might be inspired to strive for the lifestyle our future needs US to start.

The first thing I'm gonna list is sex.  Uncomfortable yet?  ;-)

People, we need to STOP asking the all famous questions among youth groups: "How far is too far?"
You older adults might not be aware of this, but people my age are trying to get as close to having sex as they can while not quite going all the way.  A lot of couples, even couples who are following Jesus, without going into detail, are doing pretty much "everything but" with each other, thinking it's perfectly okay, or at least somewhat okay, as long as they don't actually have the kind of sex that can make babies.

Imagine how much heartache, emotional pain, and sexual-transmitted diseases would be saved if only we were asking "How can me and my boyfriend/girlfriend be a living example of purity through our actions, both private and public?" instead of "How far is too far?"

You know what?  Even if you aren't in a relationship and don't have anybody who you'd fool around with you still might be living in sexual sin.  Matthew 5:28 says "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

Can I just say right now that porn sickens me?  Now if you do or have struggled with porn, it doesn't mean YOU sicken me.  But the act of looking at porn sickens me.  Don't you know that when you look at those naked girls that person is someone that God made and that he loves dearly?  That she was made for so much more?  Do you really want to support treating women like objects?  Because when you look at porn, I bet you aren't thinking about that girl's heart.  You're looking at certain body parts like toys build for your play.  It's disrespectful.  Don't you know that when you looked at that stuff it hurts your families, your wives, your girlfriends?  Now lots of women feel like we need to look or act like porn stars to get your attention.  (I'm not talking about me personally, but a lot of females out there.)  It's wrong, it's gross, if you do it, you need to stop.  If you can't, get a filter.  Don't put it off.  If you have time to gaze at body parts for hours, surely you have a few minutes to install something that's widely available and free.

And guys even if you don't look at porn I've been around a lot of my guyfriends and some girl in skimpy clothing will walk by and I can literally see you practically drool.  It's gross.  When you see a girl and she's wearing not much, look away.  She's not a piece of meat, even if she chooses to dress like one.

...Just to clarify, I don't want to make it seem like I'm only targeting the guys.  I'm not trying to.  Girl's struggle with it too, but I believe in most cases it isn't as visual.  Most girls just don't really struggle with porn.  Okay, now I'm done with my stop the sex-stuff rant. 

I was going to write about a lot of other stuff but I'm tired and I need a mind break before I write more.  I've already written two long posts today.  But I still have so much more stuff I want to say here.  SO much more that I want people to read and take to heart.  Because I wish I had known all this stuff earlier.  So I'll write more soon, so keep checking back with me.

I love you all.  <3

Africa.

So I'm thinking about going to Africa.

After China.

In case you don't know, but you've probably heard, on December 28th I'll be heading off to China for three months.  But after that about fifteen of us students are needed to head off to Cape Town in South Africa for a year.

I want to go.

But I'm not sure if that's where God wants me.  I have recently started becoming a person who really, really, REALLY wants to do exactly as God wants me to do.  I've realized that he's just so darn smarter and wiser then me, and he's more dedicated to making sure my life goes great then I could ever be.  So if he for some reason wants me to stay home, or go somewhere else, I want to listen.  But me being the impatient person I am want to know right now what his plans are for me.  I don't want to have to wait for a sure answer that might not come for months more.  I still have plenty of time to decide!  But see I want to know my future now!  Which is totally silly!  Because he knows that I'm not ready to know all that yet.

Let's just think back about eight years.  If I had known then that woah, I'm moving, and I'll lose some of my then-best-friends through it, it would've broke me.  But I can look back now and see how it all worked out for the best.  Five years ago if God would've told me that I was going to Mexico, I would've freaked out.  If a year ago God would've told me that the relationship I was in wouldn't last forever, and that a little after I was gonna be sent away for six months and go to potentially dangerous places, I would've stomped my pissy little foot and complained.  See we just aren't ready for what God has in store for us.  So maybe I should just be crying "Oh my gosh God!  Thank you soooo much for not telling me what's gonna happen with my future!"

Needless to say I'm not to that point yet.  ;-)

But back to Africa.  I don't need to decide yet.  I don't need to know for sure yet.  What I'm evaluating now is my motivation.  I want to go and do God's work but I also have other motivations for going that might not be bad in themselves but should NOT be the reason for which I take off to the other side of the world for a year.

Things like... I know some people here who are also thinking about going that I love the idea of spending a year with.  I could see the group of us being super close and having so many joyous times together.  There's all sorts of amazing animals around there, like zebras and buffalo nearby, and even monkeys all around town.  And the children!  I love kids!  I would love being around them, talking to them, loving on them!  And just being in Africa would be such an adventure in itself.  I love adventure!  I love travel!  And I've wanted to go to Africa ever since I was little.

Now these are all good reasons to go somewhere.  They aren't wrong in and of themselves.  But they shouldn't be a factor in whether or not I go or not.  My reason should be God.  Making his kingdom come to the darkest places.  Making his story of love known to those who haven't heard.  Making sure there isn't any group of people on this earth who don't get a chance to hear how much God LOVES them!!

And I have to admit to that there might be motivations for going that I need to wipe out of my mind right now and forever.  Crap that has been forming in my mind like gooey mold ever since I thought about being a missionary as a kid.  Stuff like "I'll look like such a good Christian and people will think I'm super Godly." or  "People will think I'm really brave for going to dangerous places." or "If I'm in some crazy country surrounded by people who are madly in love with Jesus, like it was in Mexico, maybe I won't fall back into depression and I can keep riding this 'Jesus high' that I'll lose if I just go home."

My dear friends back home who pray, please pray that any time any of these thoughts start to cross my mind that I'll recognize them immediately and get them out.

But more on the possibility of going.  I want to go, and a couple times I think I've felt God telling me I should go.  But every time I can't figure out if it's my wishful imagination or God's soft voice.  See when God wanted me to go to Mexico, I knew it was him, because I SURELY did not want to go to Mexico.  If I feel a call to somewhere I've specifically asked God NOT to send me to I know it's him!  But if it's something I really want to do, it's harder to know whether it's my will only or a desire shared by both me and God.

I love you and miss you.  Please pray for wisdom.

I Love

So about two months ago I wrote a blog about things I hate.  (Click here if you haven't read it http://amandastangland.blogspot.com/2010/09/i-hate.html).  At the end of the blog I said I would write a blog about things I love, so here it goes.  I love a lot of things, so this might be a long post.  These are listed in no particular order, and I'll surely leave things out by accident.  But here it goes...

My Savior.  Wheat thins with good cheese.  Dill pickles  My puppies.  Climbing trees, even when you're not a kid anymore.  The color green.  The smell of rain on concrete.  Music.  Sleeping in.  Warm blankets.  My sister.  Hippie dresses and flowy skirts.  The feeling of sun on bare shoulders.  Playing with people's hair.  Cori and Stephanie.  Daisies.  Being a girl.  Being creative.  Worshiping with good friends.  Hot chocolate before I sleep.  Coffee, not just the taste but the smells.  Freckles.  Hands.  Writings songs.  Hugs.  Knowing a good secret.  Old couples in love.  My kitty girl.  Hearing somebody sing when they think nobody is around to listen.  Good, deep conversations.  Night-time.  Sunrises.  Photography.  My family.  Un-related brothers.  A nice cold glass of milk.  Good concerts.  Feeling energy.  People's faces.  Knowing that you're truly and fully loved.  Car rides with the windows down.  Watercolor paints.  Tall grass.  Dragonflies.  True happy endings.  Baths.  Resting your head on someone's shoulder.  Singing harmony.  Comfy couches.  My DTS.  Seattle.  Dew.  Big waves.  Animals.  Innertubing in the lake.  Gentle people.  Inside jokes.  Vanilla flavored everything.  Happy memories.  Swing dancing.  Starbucks, especially when other people pay, lol.  Making things.  Airports and plane rides.  Wind.  Mist.  Babysitting.  Cartwheels.  Flowers.  Boulders.  Beauty.  My little church back home - oh my gosh, I miss you guys.  My youth group.  Anklets.  Fearlessness.  Crooked teeth.  Sprinting so fast you feel like you're flying.  Skipping.  Bug comfy chairs that swallow you up.  Chocolate truffles.  Vanilla Lattes.  Secretly observing people's unique habits.  Cinnamon.  Love.  Hugs.  That waddle toddlers do when they're learning to walk.  Kittens.  Going super super fast.  Being enveloped in water.  Cliffs.  Sunny meadows.  Playing with people's hair.  Dill pickles.  The light perfumey smell of Oprah magazines.  Mack massages.  Dimples.  Playing piano so fast your fingers feel like they're flying.  Endorphins.  Laughter.  Really getting to know people.  Dew-covered spiderwebs.  Morning frost.  YOU.

Funny Stuff

I decided to post a couple or funny stories here so you people at home can hear about them.  I want to jot them down before they are replaced with new funny happenings and might be forgotten.

The Pimple Video

(Don't read and skip to the next story if you have a weak stomach)

So yesterday I was taking a shower, minding my own business, when I heard my roommates start screaming their heads off.  I wasn't super worried, because I assumed it must be a cockroach or something.  Well after a short pause they started screaming again, so I jumped out of the shower soaking wet, half soapy, and ran out with just a towel to see what was going on.  Well all my roommates were crowded around one of our laptops, so I was like "what the heck is going on!?"  And they started laughing and told each other to rewind it so I could watch it from the beginning.

It was a horrible video or this poor man with a massive pimple-cyst thing on is upper back getting cut open and popped.  It's two minutes of these women cutting it open and just squeezing out huge, grotesque amounts of pus and blood.  Just when you think the pimple couldn't possibly have more pus in it they squeeze it some more and more comes out.  It's just about the most disgusting thing.  It's one of those things that's absolutely horrible yet you just keep on watching out of disbelief.

So we all watched it together and all screamed throughout, especially me.  (I can be a screamer at times, especially when puss the size of maggots is being squeezed out of some pimple.)  So two of the staff in the room next to us hear our screaming and think we might be in some sort of danger, so they come bursting in, and of course we rewind the video and show it to them from the beginning.  So now all of us are just standing around this laptop screaming and freaking out over this guy's zit, all while I'm still in my towel.

If you want to see the video, and have a really strong stomach, here's the link.  But I don't suggest it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xf8G-c_eAhs

The Cockroach I Didn't Catch

So the girls in my room, as well as a few girls in the rooms nearby, know that if there's a huge cockroach in their room, I have no problem with picking it up with my bare hands and letting it outside.  I think most of them have a mixture of "oh, that's brave" with "she's really strange" and "I can't believe she cares about saving the vile creature instead of killing it"  But nevertheless all are glad that the thing isn't in their rooms anymore.  Well anyway a couple nights ago I heard one of the rooms had an especially large cockroach in their kitchen, so I went in to try to safely remove it.  Well they just said it was somewhere on the floor, maybe behind the garbage can (it wasn't) or maybe in the shower (it wasn't) or something...  Anyway they wanted me to keep searching for the stupid bug, and I wasn't finding it and I didn't really like looking in all these dirty places.  And I was getting tired of looking for it.  And the poor girls were all outside feeling scared and refusing to go in their rooms even though they were really tired and wanted to sleep.

So finally I just went in their kitchen, shouted "Oh my gosh, it really IS big!" and cupped my hands around a random spot on the floor.  Then I ran out of the room with my hands cupped around the non-existent bug and pretended to let it go off the balcony, and it was super funny to have the girls around me screaming and moving out of the way.  They had no idea the cockroach was still in there somewhere and went to sleep and kept thanking me, and I felt kinda guilty.  But they found out later and thought it was funny.



"That's a good word Chad!"

A couple weeks ago one of our speakers told us this story from a church he attended.  So there was this preacher who went to this church in Ireland.  He got really discouraged because he had preached at more charismatic churches before, but this church, no matter what he said, just sat there like zombies with blank dead faces and he never knew if anything he said even got through them.  Anyway his wife decided to try and set an example for the rest of the church, so she sat in the front row, and after every point he made, or during any pause, she would loudly say, "That's a good word Chad, that's a good word!"  Which made the rest of the church super uncomfortable and put them in their shells even more.

The speaker who told us the story said it was just about the funniest thing ever.  Anyway after that now if somebody in class says something, or even just at random times throughout the day, we'll just say in a super girly voice, "That's a good word Chad, that's a good word!"  It's super funny.  I know I'm probably going to do it accidentally when I get home and nobody will know what I'm talking about.

Growth spurt.

I can feel myself changing.  I'm sorry if this freaks friends at home out, but when I come home I'll be different.

First of all, remember how I've always been finicky with germs and food?  Like if food is touching or it doesn't taste right I don't eat it?  Well here it's completely different.  (I can just hear mom going "woohoo!")  At home if someone says, "Amanda, would you like this peace of ham?  It's only been out for an hour."  I'd be grossed out, not just because of the hour part but I don't even really like ham.  But here, here I'm like "YES!  PROTEIN!  Gimme the ham!"  It's weird.  Or if I drop a cookie on the floor.  As long as it's not in the Ohana Court where everybody is, I'll most likely pick it up and keep on eating it.  I'm always hungry here and there isn't much snacky food at all.  I'd buy some but everything is so expensive.  A box of wheat thins at walmart is five bucks.  Five bucks!  And the dollar menu at McDonalds is a $1.20 menu here.

Another thing that's changed is me being finicky about my privacy and space.  I've (mostly) stopped being paranoid about doing stuff like dressing and primping in front of other people.  I used to hate when my sister even watched me put make up on.  But here when eight girls are all in a rush and there's two mirrors, you just stop caring.  And my personal space is my bunk bed and two shelves.  I used to be "this is your space, this is mine, nobody can touch my stuff," but now I'm fine with sharing space, and hairbrushes, and clothes, and whatever.  It's almost freeing.

The major thing that's really changed though is my attitude.  I realized in the past week I've been living a life coated in apathy.  There are a gazillion amazingly wonderful and amazingly horrid things going on all around me but I've been desensitized.  Desensitized to beauty and to tragedy.  This isn't God's plan for us!  I should be FILLED with awe for the things God loves.  His glory is everywhere!  In every child's innocent smile, in every bird and leaf and every painted sunset it's His mark on the world.  He is everything that is beautiful and good.  Glory is everywhere so how could we forget to see it?
It's the same thing with pain.  There is injustice everywhere.  This world is still full of racism, hunger, sex trafficking, hatred, and hopelessness, amongst so many other bad things.  How much do we hurt?  How much do we care?
Many regular church-goers aren't any better then anybody else/  They sit in our little pews once a week and half-heartily listen to some guy while sneaking peeks at their watches.  The rest of the week who even remembers about that spiritual stuff?  Don't they know that there is this INCREDIBLE God who is madly pursuing them, who is way more devoted to their lives and happiness then they could ever be themselves?  There is this man who died so that we can truly live in freedom!
Girls, instead of waiting on some guy to fill you up, look right in front of you and realize that there is this amazing Jesus guy who thinks you are STUNNING, and wants to take you away on the most amazing adventure ever, and he can fill your heart in a way that absolutely no guy ever could!  People, realize that there is this INCREDIBLE father who yearns for His children to just come to Him and just rest in His perfect peace and comfort!  The world will abandoned you and leaving you empty and tired but there is this GOD who is just waiting on His tip-toes to fill us with his spirit.  WHY doesn't this get us more exited!?
The speakers from last week said something that I hope will stick with me forever, as well as grab your hearts as well.

There is too much beauty and too much pain to ever be bored again.

Don't you think it's weird that so many churches, and especially youth groups, are dedicating so much of their time and money focusing on how to keep people at church from being bored?  All these youth groups, (I'm not talking about my youth group by the way, I love you guys,) spending hundreds, maybe thousands of dollars, on getting that new video-game set or cooler looking room to get more teenagers to think God is cool, and that He isn't all boring and stuffy like old people make Him look.

Why do we need this?  When did God ever become boring in the first place?  People, there is the God who is perfect and bigger and so great that it's impossible to exaggerate anything about Him.  And He, He is madly in love with us no matter what crappy stuff we've spent our lives doing.  And He is waiting to dive into our hearts and transform our lives into things of pure joy.  His love gets you higher than any form of any drug, His love will leave you more satisfied then any relationship, His love will make you feel safer then any caretaker or parent, and how on earth is that boring!?

I've loved and fallowed God for many years, but right now it feels like a thin vial is being uncovered from my face, and I never even knew it was there.  I am feeling God's wonder and love and beauty and awesomeness in a whole new way, and it if filling me with ecstasy!  Half the time I feel drunk.  (Well, I think.  I've never been drunk so I don't know for sure.)  I think of the pain in this world and how long I've been a lifestyle of I-don't-give-a-crap and it makes me want to cry but then at the very same time I can feel God's love and peace almost like a heavy warm coat on my heart and it makes me want to dance.  I feel so joyful and my cheeks hurt at the end of the day from smiling.  I pray that this never, ever ends.

People, it's time to get rid of apathy!

God is so amazing!

So today was one of the most joyful days ever.  I woke up a little tired and cranky, but as soon as I got into the swing of things all was great.  The message as always was spot on, and the lunch was actually pretty good.  But what really got me pumped on life is the prayer room.  The prayer room is where we all go to worship.  It's not like most worship where there's the rows of chair and the slides and stuff.  There's just a few people up front that play music but they just go with the flow.  If it feels right they'll play a song for a minute or ten, they don't really have it all planned out and I really like it.  People sit, stand, read their bible, journal, dance, sing, basically whatever they want to express their love to God.  Today I just felt like singing super loud and jumping up and down and I just got so filled with God's joy.  It's like He was just right there and I could feel him all around me like sunshine.  After singing and dancing for a couple hours we all got into our groups to pray for our countries.  So we got even more pumped up over that praying together over all the people there around the world.  I left that place just filled with so much joy and energy it was just crazy.

So every wednesday night here we have ministry night.  What it is is that we walk to the streets of downtown Kona and basically love on people.  The goal isn't to convert people or tell them they're wrong or anything, the goal is to just be a light and let people know that Jesus really loves them.  We do stuff like listen to their stories, buy the homeless some food, or just pray with them if they wish.  Of course if they want to know more about Jesus or follow them that's super cool, but we most def want to break that stereo-type of that christian who goes down to the street and yells "REPENT YOU SINNERS!"  Because people hate that, it pushes them away, and that's such an unloving way to present such a loving God.  Over the years lots of people have become good friends with the people here, have been healed from injuries or sicknesses, and even decided to follow Jesus themselves.  There's all sorts of incredible stories of all this crazy awesome stuff that;s been going on down there at past ministry nights, but I never really fully believed they would happen to me.

So I got in a group of four other people (we have to always be with someone else for safety) and we prayed for the joy God gave us to just overflow into other people's lives.  We walked down and started searching for people to love on.  I was especially keeping my eyes out for any homeless people, because personally I find them easiest to talk to.  They're usually more open to what you have to say, and they're always happy to let you buy them a sandwich or something.
Anyway we weren't really finding anybody who wasn't talking to someone else, so we all decided to lay on the grass.  Three of my group decided that they should just chill on the grass, but the fourth guy Ron and I wanted to start walking around to see more people.  We walked around for awhile, and I was starting to maybe think it wasn't such a good idea to leave the rest of the group.  No offense to Ron, he's a cool guy, but see the three people that stayed, Jonas, Josh, and Taren, were more extroverted people, while Ron and I are more shy and we both felt super awkward just going up to strangers.  We tried it a few times, just saying hi to a few people and even offering a guy to buy one guy a cup of coffee, but none of them seemed very interested.  It was getting close to the time when we were supposed to return back and I was feeling pretty discouraged.
Finally Ron and I decided to stop and pray before we walked back towards where we were supposed to meet.  Well, we were about a block-length away when we passed this boy who looked like he was about eleven or twelve.  He was sitting alone on a bench looking really upset and he was rubbing his ankle.  Ron and I walked a little passed him and then stood awkwardly peeking at him, wondering whether we should approach him or not to pray for him.  Don't get me wrong, of course I feel bad for twelve year old boys with hurt ankles, but I'm also totally new to this whole praying for healing thing.  I didn't even know God still really ever did that nowadays.  But since I've been here it happens all the time, even in my class.  Somebody will have an injury or ailment and we'll all lay hands on it and pray for God to heal it and it immediately gets better.  Now that I've seen it a few times with my own eyes I no longer believe it's bologna that people fake on TV shows.  But I never though God would do that through me.  I mean what happens if I pray for the boy's ankle and it still hurts and then I make a fool out of my self and make God look stupid.

Anyway Ron and I finally took a deep breath and went over and asked him if he was okay and what happened to his ankle.  We asked his name (JT was his name) and if we could pray for his ankle.  He lit up and said "Yes, Please do!"  We layed hands on his ankle, gently as to not hurt it, and each prayed, asking God to not only heal JT's ankle but just to show him how much God loves him.  We said Amen and asked JT to move it around to see if it still hurts.  I was totally doubting everything personally and was ready to apologize for not being a "good enough prayer" or something like that.  But I looked at JT and he had a look of complete shock on his face.  Like a deer in headlights.  He wiggled it around a little more and then said, "How did you do that!?"

I was in shock!  I felt like jumping up and down!  I didn't know God would do such a thing through me!  Ron and I were all smiley and told him it wasn't us, it was God, and God had chosen to heal his ankle just because He loves him and cares about him that much.  JT kept saying it was "totally freaky, in a good way."  We hugged him and talked for a few minutes more and started heading back when JT started limping after us trying to catch up.  (His ankle wasn't totally healed, it felt a lot better though.)  He wanted to know if we were Christians  and we started talking more.  By then another group of YWAMers joined us and started talking to JT too.  The other group along with us decided to pray for JT's ankle again to see if God would heal it even further, after we were done nothing hurt but  little tingle in his toe.
Matt Beasley, one of the guys in the other groups who is just a crazy-hard Jesus-lover, got a strong feeling from God that JT was really into music.  He asked JT if that was true and JT then immediately lit up like a deer in headlights again and started excitingly tell us about all the different instruments he plays, and how the heck did we know that about him!?
We once again told him that it was God, not any power from us.  JT is a Christian who loves God, but like me just a month ago, he had no idea that God is so crazy awesome and so madly into him that He would do stuff like heal a sprained ankle or let us know cool stuff about him,  Matt Beasley then went on telling JT that God has a really special plan for JT's life and wants to use his musical abilities in amazing ways to give people hope.  How exiting!

JT once again thanked us and just looked super exited and filled with happiness and disbelief that God would seek him out so fervently through complete strangers!  I have no doubt that he was super encouraged in his faith and that this night shook up his whole life and outlook on God.

Because I know that's exactly what happened to me tonight!

God is soooooo good!  :-)

Pictures!

So I know all of you, esspecially those without a facebook, are probably itching to see some pictures of what life is like over here.  I have lots more, but here's a few to start out with.  ^_^







My room.  Four bunks, eight girls.  It's cleaner now, this is when we first moves in.  That's Gabrielle you see on the near right.  My bunk is the top one to the right near the window.  You can't really see it in this picture that well.  I like it because I'm right next to a window.

 

These are a couple of my roomates, Gabrielle and Martine.  They're both from Holland.

Me and a couple more of my roomates.  That's Karis on the right, and Kelli on the left.  They're both from California but didn't know eachother before they came.

  I have more roomates and will probably post pictures of them all sooner or later.



The trees here are really big.




They just keep getting bigger...



And bigger.





This is the pier downtown where we swim alot.  It's not the most exiting beach ever, but it's still pretty cool and it's very close.  The water's murky close to shroe but if you swim out deep you can see all schools of bright yellow fish everywhere, which is pretty cool.



A school of bright yellow fish!

Me swimming at the pier.



This is actually at a different beach.  Also while swimming with a bunch of fish though.  One of my very favorite things to do here.  :-)



This blog just wouldn't be truly me without a gecko picture.



I'll close off with a sunset picture.  It's not the best Hawaiian sunset there ever was, but nevertheless it's pretty.  This is taken near my classroom.  It's a long walk because everything else is way down all the buildings you see here.



Thanks for looking!  Keep praying for me and checking back!

Me in a wheelbarrow

So sometimes during worship we've been asked to close our eyes and try to imagine how much God loves us. One of my roomates got this image of God just running up to her and twirling her around a field, another person just pictured how someday she was just going to sit on God's lap and just feel completely safe.

But today as we were singing "How He Loves Us" by David Crowder, (which is one of my favorite songs ever, it almost makes me cry!) God just gave me this really vivid picture of him pushing me up a hill in a wheelbarrow. I bet this sounds pretty strange so let me explain.

When I was realy little I remember being out in the yard with my mom and dad when they were doing yardwork, and if I was lucky I'd get to ride in a wheelbarrow. I bet all kids have probably done this at one point or another. You get in and lean back and your mom or dad takes the handles and pushes you around. I remembered how even though I loved wheelbarrow rides I'd also get scared. Because as I sat in the wheelbarrow looking forward I couldn't see my dad, and what if he accidentally dropped the handles! Our yard felt so bumpy and I worried about falling out, even though in reality it wasn't likely.

And I was just thinking how our walk with God is a lot like that. I'm just sitting in this wheelbarrow, going over all these bumps. Just like I couldn't see my dad push me from behind as a little girl, likewise I can't always see God. I don't know where's He's going to take me. Sometimes the wheelbarrow feels really tippy and shakey, and I worry as God's just pushing me up this hill, what if I go over a bump to big and the handles slip from His hands?

And I realized how silly I was to not trust that God is plenty strong enough to handle it, no matter how steep the hill or bumpy the terain. Just as it was silly for me to not fully trust my mom and dad to not drop the wheelbarrow, it's even more silly still to think the God of the whole universe can't push me and all the little weeds in my life with ease.

A week later

So I've been here a little over a week now. It's been pretty crazy.

Just a warning, before you read this, I can't figure out how to do spell check. Grandma, I know you'll be really annoyed. But just bare with me.

Right now I'm sitting outside the banyan tree cafe. It's a really neat place. They have fantastic drinks that are even better then starbucks and they're soo much cheaper. Pretty much everybody else is just getting out of this huge meeting where they signed up to volenteer at the iron man marathon taking place tomorrow. I didn't know that pretty much absolutely everybody was going or else I would've too. I kinda feel left out.

So the big thing that's been happening lately is God moving at large in a way I've never experienced before. I see myself as well as the people around me going crazy after Him, and that's amazing to see. Lately He's felt so close I feel like I could almost reach out and touch him. Esspecially when we worship. Worship here is different then anything I've ever been a part of. Some people stand, some people bow, some people sit, some even lay on the ground. THey dance, they sway, they cry, they pray. And here it's not for show, it's like even though we're all together in a big group wirshiping our God it's like each of us are by ourselves with just them and Jesus. It's so incredibly different and beautiful.

The lectures here have actually been really great. On an average day they start at eight and go till twelve. The length is so hard. Even though I try to eat a big breakfast every day I always start feeling super super hungry about halfway in, and it's super hard to concentrate. Sometimes we go a half hour over and then it takes just about every ounce of strength to not just get up and leave. And I promise, it's not because the lecture isn't interesting! They are so spot on about all sorts of stuff that I wanted to know about God and life and missions. I've noticed it really helps if I bring my sketchbook and draw. But I haven't seen it since yesterday, and I'm really trying not to freak out about it but it's hard. That sketchbook has some of the most personal information ever, things I wouldn't want anybody to know. Most of it's just nice drawings but a bug chunk of it is pictures and letter that represent some of the biggest darkest secrets I have, and all day I've just been trying not to think about somebody just picking it up and going through it. I've asked several people and I can't find it anywhere. DTS people, if you are reading this, if you see a large hardcover sketchbook with a nature design on the covers please bring it too me asap and don't read it!

Totally changing the subject...
I think I'm going to China for my outreach. Yesterday our leader Jeff got us together for a meeting to talk about the different outreach locations. He then announced that God told him we should decide on our location that very day. The original plan was for us not to decide for a few more weeks, so it freaked me out. I was not feeling ready at all!

So Jeff went through the different options for about ten minutes each, then afterwards he asked us to just pray and write down on a piece of paper what we thought God said, then write a second choice as well. So I had my little internal freak out, and started praying really hard asking God to tell me wherever He wanted me to go. (And yes, I know to all you non-Christian people out there this probably sounds pretty crazy...)

So I immediately thought of Mozambique, so I put that down. I dropped it in before I started second guessing withot even putting down a second country. But as soon as that paper went in I felt super anxious like I had made the wrong desision. I couldn't stop thinking about China for some reason. So I prayed some more, and talked it over with Jeff, and made the switch. I feel good about it. I'm still not sure when I find out if I'll be going for sure though, and I;m not sure exactly when I'll find out. It's making me go crazy. I like knowing exactly what's going on! I guess if I want to be a missionary I need to get over that pretty fast though! :-)

Living here is mostly fun. Did I already say I have seven roomates? I knew I'd have a few but I didn't know it would be that many! EVen before I knew that there was eight of us in one room I was still super nervouse. I've been on other mission trips and summer camps and the like before, and I usually hate living with that many girls. They fight, they're super annoying, they're catty, they gossip about eachother, they leave me out, etc... But these girls are super awesome. I love living with them. We all are totally different but we haven't had any problems whatsoever so far. We talk about everything and it's super cool.

There's Dahea (I probably spelled that wrong), this Korean girl from Australia who lives in the bunk below me. She's pretty quiet bit seems super nice and has some really awesome T-shirts. Her birthday is only nine days before mine, which is pretty funny. In the bunk bed accross from us there's Karis and Elyse. (Once again, sorry if your names are spelled wrong.) Karis is this super pretty chick from California who's just plain really fun to hang out with. Elyse is really cool too. She's this really honest, down-to-earth person who has all these crazy stories. She made all these room-cleaning rules list so she sounds like somebody who would totally grate on my nerves but we actually get along really well. Then there's Gabriele and Martine, two friends that come from Holland. It's super funny being around them because they speak in Dutch to eachother then english to us, so sometimes when they talk I think "wow, I can't understand a thing they're saying. I must be really tired," before I relize they're speaking a different language. Then there's Kelli, who's this really pretty tall slender chick that's also from California. She looks like a supermodel or something. She's only seventeen and the youngest girl in our cabin. Then there's Zari, who's from Afghanistan, and pretty much threw everything I've ever thought about women from Afghanistan out the window. She doesn't wear a vaile or anything and she's super BA. She's really tiny (like I feel super big and tall standing next to her, and I'm pretty short), but she has all these different stories of where she kicked all these guy's butts. It's hillarious. I really love them all and it's gonna be really sucky in eleven weeks on outreach where we mostly all head to different countries and have to get new roomates.

So I've also noticed Hawaii isn't this relaxing place at all. It's uncomfortable a lot of the time. You're sweaty and sticky 24/7 and nothing ever dries off. The rocks everywhere are super sharp, esspecially on the beach. Not at all like the slippery smooth rocks at home. I got slightly hurt a couple times and I'm fully expecting to get a lot more haha! I hurt my back a little when I dove off this little cliff,which sucked because then I couldn't dive well for a couple days after that. Then a few days later I jumped off this dock but I didn't jump off far enough because I scraped up my foot in the rocks beside it, and kicked a sea urchin. Which I didn't really know untill later when I noticed the edge of some purple spikes underneath my skin. It's kinda gross. People here say I should just let them work their way out but even though it doesn;t hurt it's really gross to see them stuff under my skin.

Wow, I'm sorry this post has been so long! Anyway I want to close by asking people reading this to just keep me in your thoughts and prayers. Even thought the people here are really cool during the past few days I've been feeling overwhelmingly lonely. I miss everybody at home so much. I miss hanging out with people who really know who I am. I'm tired of feeling like an outsider. I never know where to sit at meals, and half the time I feel like just a tagalong wherever I go. I feel like I'm in fifth grade all over again. I mean I have my roomates and a couple of other friends who I can totally chill with, but when I don't know where they are I just don't know where else I can fit. And since most of those people aren't even going to China, who the heck will I hang out after the lecture phase end and I'm across the world? I just feel so sad and awkward being away from my people I know at home. My best friends who know everything about me. My parents that can give me hints on what the heck to do and my sister who I laugh with. My church who's totally used to my crazy randomness. My pets, oh my gosh I miss them!

THank you church, friends, family, and whoever else reads this. I'm sorry there's so much to read. I'm sure it's probably pretty boring getting through it all. I miss you.

Quick update

Hey, I don't have long on this computer, but I want to give everyone a quick update of what's going on. I arrived yesterday, and the plane ride was pretty easy. I sat next to a lady with a really annoying laugh (just imagine somebody going "huh, huh, huhuh, huh," in a naselly voice and that's her), but everything else was just fine. I was super tired though. I had only been able to get two hours of sleep before leaving. I arrived and got to my room, which is pretty nice. It has a little bathroom with a shower and a toilet, (we had to steal some toilet paper from one of the public bathrooms) and a sink outside. The two Holland girls say they saw a cockroach about four inches long in the shower when they first came. I only saw one cockroach so far though, and it was pretty little. There's also a bunch of teeeeeny tiny ants all over, which I guess I don't mind, and a bunch of gnats that like to sit all over my bed, which is kind of a pain. Because when I was trying to sleep last night they kept trying to crawl on me.

Mostly yesterday I unpacked, met some people, and walked in a daze. I took two showers because it's so hot. Cold water has never felt so nice! The dinner was pretty good. Salmon pasta or something of the sort. There's so many different accents here. It seems like there's more Asians here then there are white people. There's a Korean transolater that transolates everything, and there's Korean characters below englich words on the worship slides. It's kinda cool.

I have seven roomates. One's from California, one's from Australia, Two are from Holland, one's from Afghanistan, and one's from the UK. We have another one coming, but all the staff can't get ahold of her. I hope she's okay.

I went downtown last night with some people and got some shaved ice. There's 100 flavors, andf some of them have really crazy names like "tigers blood" or "suicide" or "Palm Tree Breeze". They want to get through every single one before the three months is up.

This morning breakfast was at 6:15, but it wassn't so bad because it still feels like 9:15 to me. Then we met around this huge fountain and took our shoes off (we seem to take our shoes off for everything here, for worship, for prayer, for meetings, etc.), then we fallowed some native hawaiian people to this huge outdoor place where they sang for us and stuff. THen we had to put our arms around eachother and pray together. Everybody was kinda swaying side to side and it totally reminded me of that scene from Avatar where all the blue people link arms under that tree. It was a little funky. Then they tought us some Hawaiian words and stuff, and then they told us we should take the person beside uis and do this thing where we press our foreheads and noses together and breathe in sharply. It's called doing a "honnee" or something and it's supposed to symbolize sharing breathe and life I think. I was way to shy to do that and so was 99% of everybody else. You're like an inch from the person's face! Plus I was sitting in between two boys. Awkward!

Then we all worshiped and that was pretty cool. They were two songs I've never heard before and everybody really gets into it and sings so loud here. It's amazing. I don't think I've ever been in the middle of so many people that are fired up about God's love.

Oh, I saw a mangoose! And a gecko. And a big banana spider. I'll post pictures once I get the camera wire and laptop recharger. I forgot it my mom sent it but it'll be a few days.

Anyway gotta go now, it's almost lunch. Keep praying for me, I love you all!

The Car Song

A little ditty I wrote about my car.  My car will be missed during these next six months apart...

I hate

• When people think I'm lying.  I'm a very honest person.  And perceptive enough to tell when someone thinks I'm not telling the truth.
• When adults think it's okay to ask really inappropriate personal questions because you're a kid.  Questions such as "You look heavier then last time I saw you.  How much do you weigh?" "You're twelve now, have you started menstruating yet?" "You're a little old for fifth grade.  Did you get held back?" People, would you ever ask another adult that?  And yes, these are actually real questions that adults have asked me.
• Drinking something, feeling refreshed, then realizing you just drank out of a dirty cup.  It's just so gross!
• Songs that require "audience participation".  If you're song is so lame it needs people to do hand motions or yell stuff at certain parts, you probably shouldn't be sung in front of anybody.  Besides, it makes us feel like we're in preschool.
• Not having cheesecake.  Because I just read someones post on facebook about how much they wanted cheesecake.  And after reading that I really want some now too.  But I don't have any.  :-(
• Cruelty to livestock.  I don't think eating meat is wrong.  I believe it would be healthier both for us and the environment if we ate less, but I believe meat can be a great source of protein, vitamins, and tastiness.  What I think is wrong is how much of the meat we buy in stores come from animals who never got the chance to go outside, but instead were stuffed in cages or stalls with so many other animals there wasn't room to move.  I also believe animals should get the chance to grow into adults before they die.  Not killed as babies, or fed hormones that speeds up the growing process.  And they should never be killed in long, painful ways.  They should be treated gently.
• When people think I can't handle something because I'm young.  You make me even more determined.
• Middle school girls.  I've met some that are amazing, but for the most part I can't think of any group of people who are more catty, two faced, or shallow.  Not all of them.  Maybe half of them at least though.  I never liked them as a kid, because they always acted so superior.  I didn't like them when I myself was a middle school girl, because they were plain mean.  And I don't like them so much now, because even though middle school girls now are different people then middle school girls I used to know, who are now high schoolers or young adults, the new middle school girls now aren't much different from the old ones.
• Heavy vibrato.
• When people way thinner then you complain about how fat they are.  Especially when they do it about people who are actually overweight.  Could you possibly be any less sensitive?
• People who make false assumptions because I was homeschooled.  Yes, I have friends.  Yes, I know how to socialize.  Yes, I graduated.  Really I think somebody ought to write a book titled something like "Answers to All the Frequently Asked Questions About Homeschooling".  Maybe a little shorter though.  And then it should be required reading for everyone.
• When you can tell your doctor is trying really hard not to roll their eyes at you.  It's not my fault I hate needles!  How would you feel if I stuck a huge spider on your arm and said, "Oh, when it bites you, it'll just hurt for a second."  Because I bet a lot of those doctors don't like big spiders.
• When people are so flustered over that crying kid.  You know, the one in the airplane.  Or grocery store.  First of all I want to say there are certain parents who spoil their children, and train the children to be complete brats.  I get annoyed when I see that.  But lots of times there will be some mom who is doing a fine job as a parent, but nevertheless her child will still cry once in a while!  Maybe that baby has a bad cold.  Maybe that little girl had a bad day at preschool because nobody would sit with her.  Maybe that little boy's dog died yesterday.  Or maybe the kid is being a pill, but it's not because he's spoiled, it's because he's a little kid and doesn't know better.  So please people, stop glaring at that mom who is already probably embarrassed enough.  What do you want her to do, stick duct-tape over her child's mouth?
• Mullets!
• When people driving nice cars cut me off or try to wildly pass me just because my car is crappy.  I know my car isn't a ferrari, and I really don't care.  It's a car, and it gets me where I need to go.  And by cutting me off, it's not showing me how much cooler your car is then mine, it's just showing everybody you're a jerk.  Besides, driving aggressively to show off will get you in an accident, and do you really want an ugly dent in your shiny mustang?
• My last name.  I mean no disrespect to my ancestors, but why couldn't you have picked something nicer?  It's hard to spell, and I'm tired of all these complications with banks and drivers-licenses from people spelling it Strangland or Strangeland or Stanglind.  And the sound of it.  It just makes me think of some body part.  Stang-gland.  Just think of some doctor saying, "Sir, I've reviewed your blood tests and it seems like we are having a problem with you left stang gland.  It's secreting pus and seems to be infected, but it's good we caught it early on.  If we had waited any longer it would've started to fester."  I guess most people wouldn't think that, but I always have.  I really want to marry someone with a nice last name.
• Asian people getting eyelid surgery to make their eyes more "western" looking.  Ever since I was a little kid and saw an Asian person's eyes up close for the first time, I've admired the beauty of that almond-shape.  Why on earth would anybody in their right mind want to mess with that?
• 80s music.
• Mozart's music.  I'm not denying he was a genius, (I mean who could write something that complicated that would sound like a song still even if you played it in reverse?) but his music sounds so mathematical and inexpressive.  Not beautiful or moving in any way.  Plus my piano teacher used to make me learn all these boring songs from him when I was a kid, and I always hated learning them.
• Little boys that burn bugs alive with magnifying glasses.  Okay I don't necessarily hate those little boys but I hate what they do to those poor bugs.
• Out-of-tune sounds.  Like this one kid in band who always sat next to me and played flat no matter what.  And never fixed it.
• Vomiting.  Is there anything more gross?  Painful?  Weird?  Uncomfortable?  Freaky?
• Those tapes made for kids that have children singing along to tacky, synthesized background music.  They would play that kind of stuff for us church kids.  Little children with auto-tuned voices singing the same worship songs I heard adults singing, but without syncopation.  It didn't help me learn more about God, it just made me want to punch something.  I love Veggietales, because they make music for kids that's not all watered-down dumb and auto-tuned or sung by voices that make me think of horror movies.

I have a lot more things, but I can't think of them right now.  Soon I'll make a post about things I love.

Paying Attention.

One thing that I'm worried about with this whole YWAM thing is the lecture phase.  Yes, it's called the LECTURE phase.  What an awful name...when I hear the word "lecture" it's not exactly music to my ears.  I picture my dad explaining why I have to mow the lawn an exact certain way or something like that.  I mean I know these lectures are a different kind of lecture, not a "you did something wrong, blah blah blah" kinda thing, and are supposed to be interesting, but just for the sake of my brain can't they call it a Talk phase?  Teaching Me Stuff phase?  Speakers Come And Speak phase?  Something that doesn't make my ears flinch?

On the website it says "You can expect 40 plus hours weekly of challenging, life-changing classes from world-renowned speakers."  I'm exited about life-changing.  I'm exited about the challenging part.  World renowned sounds pretty cool too.  But 40 plus hours?  We get weekends off, so that's like seven, eight, nine hours a day of listening to speakers.  I have nothing against speakers or learning stuff, but I have ADD.  It's not going away and it means that I've always sucked at sitting there listening to people, especially for long periods of time.  It doesn't even matter if it's interesting.  They could be talking about wild monkeys, sky-diving, pickles, jazz, or whatever would make me exited, and my mind would still wander.  So I need prayer please for me to be able to listen that long.  I hope I get at least half of it!

One thing however that I have gotten really good at over the years is acting like I'm listening.  Throughout my life, while listening to sermons, teachers, or anything that has to do with cleaning the kitchen, I've gotten real good at finding ways to stay awake.  Now before I get in trouble with my pastors, parents, or teachers who might read this, I just have to say I really do try to listen to you!  Many times, especially if it's something relevant or interesting, I really do listen and take stuff to heart and learn from it.  Just not all the time.  So for your entertainment, (or maybe help, if you have the same problem I do and need ideas,) I've compiled a list of things I do to keep me entertained when I just really want to close my eyes and doze off.

• Find a word or phrase the speaker is saying a lot (like parallel angle, humbleness, responsibility, etc.), and replace it with a different word. (Like banana, toilet flusher, yo mama's face, etc.)  You'll hear in your head some really entertaining stuff.  Stuff like "Now if we divide the x component with yo mama's face," or "We need to be like Jesus and really show others love and bananas in whatever we do."  One good thing about this is that you actually do hear and pay attention to a lot of what the speaker is saying.  The bad thing is that you might find yourself cracking up when it's not socially acceptable to do so.  Not that I of course ever do that myself.  ;-)
• Look at the speaker (or anyone in the class for that matter, just make sure it's someone in front of you so you look like you're paying attention) and imagine you're taking him or her on some TV show and you get to give them a full, head-to-toe make over.  Think of how you'd do their hair, make-up, what outfit you'd pick out, whatever.  Really think of every single last detail.
• If the speaker is especially animated with their hands, just imagine if they were holding a magic wand instead of their dry erase marker, and watch as everywhere they point imaginary rainbow dust shoots all over the room and makes stuff explode.  If the speaker is animated but not pointing at stuff or holding anything pointy (like a pen), picture instead them holding a small animal, maybe a cat.  As they wave their hands around in the air, just imagine that poor cranky cat flying furiously from side-to-side, hissing and spitting at the speaker holding them.
• Try to picture what the speaker looked like is a kid, if they're old, and if they're young, try to picture what they'd look like with a bunch of wrinkles.
• Try to picture what the speaker would look like if they were the opposite gender.
• Take everything the speaker says and repeat it in your head in a funny accent.  Make the voice funny too.
• Look at everybody in the room and pretend every one of them is a fraternal twin.  Try to pair up who would be who's twin judging by who looks similar.
• Whatever you do, don't listen to your iPod or text.  It's just rude.  The speaker, even if they are terribly boring, probably tried really hard to prepare their lesson or lecture to make it interesting and helpful.  So even if they epic failed on the interesting or helpful thing, realize that they have feelings and can really get discouraged if they see people blatantly ignoring them.  If you get bored and do any of these ideas to entertain yourself, do it secretly so the speaker won't know you'd rather be somewhere else.